You walk so near to your locker/ You lay so low in the grass

To help you understand my middle/high school self a little better I relate the most to Lisa Chau and Laura Lowe, authors from our readings in Red. Unlike Laura Lowe I was never homed schooled, however I was transferred to a private school where each student could excel in the areas they were best at. While I was at said school I was soon in science books 2 grades above my public school counterparts. That school did not meet my needs as much and I went back to public school. There I tried to take an honors science class, I dropped it ASAP. The kids in the class were the nerd, the rejects, the ones who stilled played with action figures in Middle School. It would have been social suicide. Therefore I choose a life of friends, parties, and long nights of gossip with make-up tips. The effects of this choice may never be known. I bring this up because Laura seems to understand things I did not at her age. Laura stuck with the academics the sad thing is that most girls who attend public school get lost in the crazy world.

One of the ways girls seem to get caught up in their teenage world is by competition with other girls. A friend of mine mentioned the other day that she was tempted to attend an all girls College since she feels more comfortable around women. This blows my mind. Girls have always been my competition and my enemies. Similar to the online reading where girls dressed for prom to impress other girls, I went to school to out wit the other girls. Then again the school sphere does make things more difficult and much more complicated. As most of know the issue of prom was a huge ordeal. I did not attend mine, but I do know girls who spent well over 2,000 dollars in order to “prepare”. This causes so much stress on girls that are not class-privileged. More than competition with other girls is the damaging affects of friendships gone wrong, like in An Orchid, If That is What It Is we see how Elizabeth has affected her family and Ava’s.

Let me step away from the blog prompt now and discuss the reading in detail. Here are some questions I wanted to ask of the class in order to get discussion going and see how others felt of the reading.

1. Does anyone else feel that Ava and her mother are supposed to have a strange co-dependent relationship?
2. Do you think we are supposed to feel anger towards Joyce French, Ava’s mother?

I found this essay very interesting not only because it included a confession but because of Metzger’s way with words. She states “Ava always had part favors without the parties, those shine red packages you pull for the spark, not what’s inside. Every holiday was celebrated, ever activity played, every toy tested, perfection” (132, Red). Metzger goes onto say “She [Ava] loved white gloves and ballroom dancing, black patent leather shoes, Purell, pearls, pocketbooks, and pleated skirts….My friend Ava loved almost everything; her mother said so , too. Her mother was the only thing Ava did not love” (133, Red). I bring up this last quote because I feel there was a sort of jealousy that existed between Elizabeth and Joyce. Elizabeth wanted to be Ava’s world but could not because of Joyce. “Maybe it was because at nine years old I could not let go of such a dream of having Ava the way I wanted her….I saw in her more potential, more character than her mother allowed” (135, Red). To further my thoughts on the jealousy issue Elizabeth says that she became angry at her own mother for defending her. She states “I hated that my mother tried to defend me when I was guilty. I began to sleep on my back under the covers so she couldn’t kiss the nape of my neck ‘ninety-nine kisses,’ or scratch my back with love” (138, Red). In this quote will also see that this anger and displacement of guilt towards her mother is negatively affecting their relationship.

As for the other readings I wanted to address “Have Cycle, Will Study”. Sometimes I forget how difficult just going to school is. I am in no way privileged but I obviously do have it better than some. These kinds of stories give me the inspirations to stick to my goals and work as hard as I can. If these girls can struggle more than I have ever know then I definitely can too.


a. estrada


p.s. I know my title is super emo but I really love Bright Eyes. :)

Comments

Lela said…
Great response...and I love the title!! The Red readings really take us back to days many of us think we forgot, even if we don't directly relate to the characters, their experiences echo ours--echo those of so many girls. And when we read things like "Have Cycle, Will Study," it helps put things in perspective--education is a privilege and we should not let social anxiety stand in the way of our education. Thanks for sharing:)

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