When I was little...

I remember being 12 and being told that I was moving away from all of my friends that I had known since I was 6 years old. At the time it seemed like the end of the world, I didn't even get to say good-bye. For some unknown, crazy reason, my mother was taking my sister and I across the state - away from everything we knew. When reading "Packing" by Deborah Kim, I completely identified. I moved to a town by an air force base and quickly came to realize that there were people much more worse off than myself. They had to move every two years, they were air force brats to the "rest of us", and they came and went as if it were nothing to just pack up and leave.
When reading the story about black letter days and red letter days, I didn't really connect with that. There were some days that were really bad, but that doesn't change as you get older. And I never really hated any of my classmates that way.
I suppose you could say I was "popular without knowing it". I really connected with "The Best Kind of Popular". Mostly because when I was in school I got along with everyone, but was never considered in "the popular crowd", nor did I want to be. I was friends with them, the nerds, the jocks, the band, the surfers, the goths, the preps -- everyone. And it didn't dawn on me that I was "popular" until my senior year right before we graduated. I realized how many friends I actually had and how many I was going to miss. They all helped make me who I was, and they were all from different walks of life.

I guess to apply this to girls as a whole, and not just my own personal experiences, I would say that I feel like boys are more comfortable in school. They get more of a break (not saying that's a good thing), especially "the jocks". In the black letter/red letter days story, the "popular crowd" were always the more social ones, copying off of the smarter kids, not really learning or accomplishing anything -- barely scraping by. And year after year, those same kids moved on to the next grade. Why is that? Football players in high school get "good" grades easier than students not participating in sports b/c the football players "need" that good grade to play. (At least this is how it seemed when I was in school.) It also seems as though girls struggle in school more because they don't know where or how to fit in. I read in another post that they have a harder time finding a role model. This is true, the boys have all of their favorite football or basketball (or baseball, etc.) players to look up to, as well as their coach and many others. Girls have their mothers (who may not always be the best influences), their teachers, and who else? Girls go through many emotions during adolescence and it definitely makes school more of a challenge. Every girl is just trying to fit in and make friends and do well in school. Often, sports that are offered to boys are not offered to girls or the boys' sports receive more funding/hype. It is harder for a girl to find herself during this rough age than it is for a boy. At least that is the way it appears.

Lauren Kousouris

Comments

I moved away at the age of eleven to Florida from North Carolina. In Florida, I learned what "Guess Jeans" were and "corduroy Billabong Jackets" since those were the popular expensive must-haves. I was clearly not a girl of fashion like the rest of teh girls.
I believe also in some ways that the boys have it easier. There is also a lot of sexual harassment (or at my school) that we as girls were supposed to laugh off. I think the girls didn't know if they liked it or not but typically, we were humoring the guys. Thinking back (I graduated in 1994), it was really awful. To not laugh was paramount to being a nerd.
Also, at my school there was dance and cheerleading for girls. If there were any other options at the time, then I certainly didn't hear about them. So, it felt like there were no outlets for girls but there were plenty for boys. "But I Don't Want to be a Cheerleader." The cheerleaders wanted me because I was 98 lbs. I realized, they just wanted to fly me up in the air and I was not about getting dropped on the ground.

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