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Showing posts from October, 2009

Week 10 & 11: A Culture of Torture

My heart was broken when watching the file “Born into Brothels”. I felt a range of emotions from heart-break, sadness, to happiness and enlightenment. It is appalling that children in this age have to live like this. They are unable to go to school because they have to work till 11:00 at night and start again a 4:00 in the morning. They are slaves and are constantly in an environment where women are degraded. They see women violated by men, they see women fighting calling each other names like “slut” and “whore”. One of the girls in the beginning of the movie stated “one has to accept life as said and painful” another said “there is nothing called hope in my future”. For the girls they have no future, their future is the same as their mothers and grandmothers to be sex slaves. The boys are taught from early on that women are worthless. One of the girls stated how her brother beats her and she would not mind if they were separated. For them the photography was a vacation from real

Born Into Tragedy

Week 10/11 I would like to start off by saying that the videos this week were AMAZING. “Born Into Brothels” was so heart wrenching- I felt like those kids were my friends by the end of the video, and to see what they have to go through (and will continue to go through) breaks my heart. Zana Auntie has a heart of gold- even though she knew there would be so many hurdles to get those kids into boarding schools she did everything she could. Those children are vivacious, perceptive, witty, and capable- to hear how some of the adults speak to them was horrifying. To think that these little girls will grow up to be “on the line”- that any man with enough rupees can come in and sexually use/abuse them, is horrifying to me. The ONLY reason these women prostitute themselves, and the ONLY reason this cycle is being perpetuated, is money. These women are exploited, beaten, controlled, and oppressed by the men in their communities. Avijit’s mother was burned to death by her pimp in the kitche

Book Review: The Road of Lost Innocence

It’s a crime, unmentioned and unnoticed. Worldwide, it is estimated that somewhere between 700,000 and four million women, children and men are victims each year, and no region is unaffected. It’s the second largest organized crime in the world, after drugs. It robs its victims, who are very young, of their innocence, of their lives, of their souls. The rates of homicide for these individuals is 17 times higher than that of the age-matched general population. Florida is one of the top 3 states in the US for this crime. And I bet you don’t know what it is. Its human trafficking. The majority of its victims become sex slaves. You can blame the purity myth for a lot of this problem, as well as greed and the idea that men should be sexual and violent accounts for most of the rest. Why? Many of these children are stolen or sold into trafficking at a young age to insure their virginity. They get a higher price. Families that are in debt and live in societies where

Video Review: The Education of Shelby Knox

I picked a video not on our list. “The Education of Shelby Knox” is a documentary, following the life and struggles of a young high school student as she defends what she believes in. The movie is an awesome story about standing up for yourself and speaking out, even if you are alone in your stance. It shows that young people, young women included, can have a positive change on those around them. Shelby lives in Lubbock, Texas. In her city, the teen pregnancy and STI rates are almost twice the national average. Of course, Lubbock is in the “Bible Belt” so purity balls and abstinence only education reign supreme. The coincidence is not lost on Shelby. While she herself has chosen an abstinence approach in her own life, she recognizes this is not realistic for the majority of students in her town. Shelby becomes a member of the Lubbock Youth Commission in order to strive to make a difference. She pleads with the school board to allow teachers to educate students on various way

Sometimes I Just Can't Be "Culturally Relative".

I knew from the beginning of this class that the topic of female genital mutilation would come up and I have really been dreading it. Just the though of FGM literally makes me sick to my stomach. Since I am taking an anthropology class this semester, I know all about ethnocentrism (the tendency to believe that one's own race or ethnic group is centrally important, and that all other ethnic groups are measured in relation to one's own) and cultural relativism (the concept that one must suspend judgment or culture bound-values on other people's practices to understand them in their own terms). But to me, when a practice becomes dangerous and life threatening, and there is no real spiritual value to it, that's when the line from culture to torture is crossed. While I do not think that "outsiders" have a right to force other cultures to stop a practice, I do think that they have the right to critique it, and even offer alternatives to it. From the FGM fact sheet

Best Friends Forever

The first real best friend that I can remember having was in the fourth grade. Natalia was my neighbor, my confidante, and my partner in crime. In elementary school we were literally attached at the hip. We waited for each other every morning to walk to the bus stop together. We sat next to each other on the school bus, in class, and never had lunch without the other. If I wasn’t at home, I could be found at her house and vice-versa. We experienced the troubles of girlhood together from our developing physical changes and first periods, to teenage rebelliousness and first crushes. We spent so much time together; it was like we were practically sisters. The story “The Two of Us,” about the twin sisters reminded me of my relationship with my best friend. Just like Hannah could tell Sarah anything, Natalia knew every detail possible about my life. “It [was] hard to keep things from each other, and we both know what is said in confidentiality stays that way. Why go through something alone

With a little help from my friends

In high school, I managed to find a tight group of girls at the end of my freshman year. We lasted until about the end of our junior year, until drama (and an out-of-state-move) finally drove us apart. We called ourselves the foursome and we stuck together like our lives depended on it. I was probably the least social of the four of us, so it was really important to me until my junior year that we were such good friends. It’s interesting now, to think about how we sort of disintegrated. I know now that they really weren’t the greatest of friends, and they definitely weren’t empowering- and neither was I. We all had other friends, and I while we were self-titled a group of four, I don’t think we were very exclusive- we simply didn’t have the popularity status to be (or have it matter, if we were). We treated each other pretty poorly- one of the girls, A, was “in love” with T, who strung her along while she dated boy after boy. I thought J was constantly stealing my boyfriends (it was on

WWII: Women in the Fight

Life Photo Slideshow Take a look at some of these pictures of women fighting and supporting the war efforts in World War 2. I love these shots - many women, of various races, backgrounds, and social classes. All of these women proved they were strong, capable, and necessary for success.

BFFs

I read in the Wall Street Journal once that women are more likely to rely and keep friendships with other women than men are with their male peers. The article cited the case of a group of women who grew up together as girls and young women and continue to visit each other despite leading separate lives that drew them down different career and personal paths in all different areas of the country. I thought of this article instantly when I read this week's readings about friendships as a young girl. Growing up the friendships I had were a vital part of life's greatest memories, whether it be developing a secret spy club a la Harriet the Spy with my neighborhood girlfriends, running around hopped up on soda and pizza at a sleepover or taking my first underage swig of lukewarm tequila (harsh start to drinking, I know). You're best friends are the girls that are going through exactly what you are, that are closest to your school/personal/familial experiences. Having moved every

I didn't rape you-you asked for it

I don't recall ever taking an abstinence-only class but it has been a long time since high school for me. I believe the only way to make people understand the harm that these courses are doing is to raise awareness via blog and similar media to young people and educate parents as well. If parents could understand the psychological harm they could do to their children by allowing these classes to be taught, it could help prevent their propagation (excuse the term). Additionally, a push against legislation that promotes this kind of education, or lack thereof, could help restrict this brainwashing of our youth. I have railed against the purity myth since I became sexually active, although I never named it before. This promotion of purity is severely anti-woman in all its forms. Its antiquated notions lead to a demonizing of women and perpetuates the sexist ideas in men that lead to sexual abuse. I have read Katie Roiphe's book "The Morning After: Fear, Sex, and Femin

Dancing like a whore and actuallly being one are totally different

I loved Eliza Appleton's story "Cribs". It communicates so much of the frustrations and stresses of growing up girls and on top of that is full of quotable lines. From calling the dirty dancing of our times "grinding" and defending the desire the teenagers had to rub their parts against one another in front of crowds (which I can totally understand, I love dancing=). At the high school dances I was unfortunate enough to attend "grinding" was not allowed and if you were caught by the surrounding teachers you would get thrown out and that's all for your Prom experience. I think it is hilarious but aggravatingly dumb at the same time. I can understand though, just as Eliza understood why the parents were so shocked by their scandalous dance moves. I can also relate to her dreams of legend status at her high school. Being so popular and respected in high school is the adult equivalent of hitting the jackpot; that is how important rank and status seem a
Reflections of previous events and emotions I always love reading the short stories in red. I appreciate the fact that the girls get to express themselves so openly and honest. I recall my teenage years when reading the stories in red and realize times never really change from one generation to the next. The story of Cribs by Eliza Appleton made me appreciate the fact that things do not change much from generation to generation. The big difference is we call the dances different names, but each generation has its own form of dirty dancing. In Cribs Eliza’s mother thinks grinding is dirty dancing. What about in the fifties when the guys would pick the girls up and she would spread her legs and her crotch would be on his waist. I believe it was called the hop. This could be considered dirty dancing, but it was accepted. I think some parents forget what it was like to be a teenager. I understand parents want to protect their children but you have to start trusting them to make the right c

Faux Twins

As usual, I loved the readings from Red this week. I love the way these girls let us peek into their lives for a moment. I really loved both writings by the twins, Hannah and Sarah. While I do not have a twin sister (I always thought it would be great to have one though), I do think I understand some of what they say about their bond. Lindsey has been my best friend since 6th grade. The second I met her we had things to talk about and we haven’t run out of things yet. While Lindsey and I are not exactly alike, in high school we became something of a “package deal” like Hannah mentions in The Two of Us (Red 45). If one of us was doing something, the other had to be there, period. We even used to tell people that we shared a brain. Just like the twins, Lindsey and I can tell each other anything. I totally agree with Hannah when she says “Why go through something alone when there’s someone you can trust to be with you?” because that is exactly how I feel about Lindsey. Sometime I think

Good ole family time!

When I looked back at the stories I marked from Red while reading, I noticed that they all were family related. My parents got divorced when I was about two, so having divorced parents is all I know. I don’t have any angry feeling about it like Emma Considine does in “Bloody Red Heart”. In “Country”, Alicia Davis wrote, “There is no wall of animosity between us, just a small cloud of irritation that comes and goes.” She is talking about her dad, and I now exactly how she feels. It has been a process to get to the relationship my father and I have now. My mother is very emotional and open, and my dad is definitely not emotional or chatty by any means. When I was a young girl I was often very frustrated with him, just like Alicia was with her dad. When he would pick me up for our time together he didn’t ask much about my life, and I felt like he didn’t really try to get to know who I was. Also my dad’s side of the family likes to tease the ones they love, and I was just too

Everyone Can Relate

I spent 8 months in Pennsylvania and four months in Florida, so I shuffled schools. It was always fun, everyone looked forward to me coming back, yet I missed out on a lot. The kids had their clicks and it seemed as if I was an intruder, I’d miss birthday parties, fun field trips, and it was hard fitting in. I did this until I was in 5th grade. I must add, I was awkward during this time. I gained weight, had awkward spaces in my teeth and was totally uncoordinated. I wanted so bad to fit in with the “cool” girls, little did I know that I’d be their friends in high school and it wasn’t that great. In high school, I feel like I was disempowered, I became a follower and did a lot to make people like me. They drank a lot, which I kept my boundaries and did not. They thought sex was a horrible thing and did every other crazy thing, so when I had sex they defended me. I was very hurt and upset, and then I realized I did not need friends like that. They ended up being huge sluts. Its funny on

Put yo hand up on my hip, when I dip you dip we dip

Since this week’s blog prompt is “TBA”, I suppose I’ll just chat about some of the stories we read in RED this week. In the family section, it was really interesting to me to see that some of these girls had the same thoughts, experiences, or relationships that I had. For instance, almost every teenager goes through a bout where she is angry at one of her parents. This was surely true for me when I was 13, but just like Alicia Davis, we found things to bond over and became closer. Also, I know what it’s like to have a sister abroad when disaster strikes, as in “The News” by Claudia Berger. My sister was in Paris when the bombings started a few summers ago. She was a romance language major when she was at UCF, so she spent a lot of time in Italy and France . We definitely had a scare, but she turned out to be okay and came home to us safely. We used to have a very turbulent relationship, so I understand Claudia when she was worried that the last thing she told her sister was, “I hate

Dancing with Angels

I have had the same best friend for over ten years now. We found our womanhood and struggled through girlhood together. When we were about 14 we were obsessed with makeup, we had found our new love MAC. MAC was the best high fashion makeup out there, we were able to transform into adults with the simple movement of a brush. As got older and into high school I developed friendships with a group of girls who were “popular”. Three of them were cheerleaders; two were always on homecoming and prom court. I felt the pressure to be beautiful and fit into this stereotypical mold. Being a girl became was about wearing makeup, wearing the latest fashions, and having the perfect hair. My transformation in less than a year was significant. I went from wearing jeans and a t-shirt literally everyday to wearing skirts, dresses, and other preppy clothes. I felt the pressure to fit in. Something that stands out though is the comfortable environment around my best friend. My best friend has alway

Fat Talk Free Week

From the OperationBeautiful.com site: This week is Fat Talk Free Week . Fat Talk is negative self-talk and it has NOTHING to do with being overweight, average weight, or even underweight. Like Operation Beautiful , Fat Talk Free Week has everything to do with how you see yourself and treat yourself. Watch the new FTFW video for more: As part of Fat Talk Free Week,women all over the country are pledging to stop fat talking for just one week. Hopefully, this week will become a month, a year, a LIFETIME! We don’t need Fat Talk in our world, at all. Did you know… 54% of women would rather be hit by a truck than be fat. The average American woman is 5’4” tall, weights 140 lbs, and wears a size 12 or 14. Fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women. Barbie, the best selling fashion doll in the world, has unattainable and unhealthy body proportions. If she were alive, her waist would be smaller than patients with anorexia nervosa, and she would be unable to menstruate. 1 in 4 wome

Women, Sex, and Double Standards

At my high school, we attended abstinence-only sex education classes. We learned an extensive amount about different STD’s and diseases that could be the consequence of engaging in sexual activity. They stressed the importance of saving sex for marriage because having sex as a teenager would ultimately “ruin your life.” Different forms of contraception were briefly mentioned; however, abstinence was stressed as the ONLY way to protect yourself and your partner from pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases. These classes did not teach us how to properly use condoms or about the pros and cons of using oral contraceptives. Honestly, I never even knew that the Plan B pill existed until my freshman year in college, when my best friend needed emergency contraception (sad, I know)! Instead of focusing so much on trying to get the youth of our generation to remain abstinent, school officials and the directors of these various “sex education” classes really need be objective and teach s

Righting the Wrongs

Sexual education is a passion of mine as I believe we are cheating our youth by not giving them up-front, accurate, and objective information void of the conservative agenda forced to be promulgated by public school teachers. Our abstinence only programs taught in schools have good intentions using moot techniques to get young people to abstain from sexual relations with one another. These programs could not be more ineffective since the United States is known for having one of the highest rates of STDs among adolescents and the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the developed world ( http://www.themediaproject.com/topics/sexeducation.htm ). It is an outdated concept that is not even backed up by any research, rather, as just explained, it seems to be outrageously counterproductive. The right-wing organizations that keep this policy in tact use misguided ideas to support their reasoning, claiming sexual education should be left up to the parents. This is not an effective way since mo