"It's a Fetish" assignment 8 week 9 readings
I spent 4 months out of the year in Florida at school and 8 months in Pennsylvania. It seemed as when I went to Florida they taught “sex ed” in Pennsylvania and vice versa. I never formerly had “sex ed” in middle school, I was actually disappointed about this. Luckily my mom and I have a close relationship and she taught me everything, which I feel shaped me better than any school lecture could. She taught me that sex isn’t something you do for fun and respect yourself. She also made it clear that she did not expect me to be a virgin when I got married. I needed to experience life and make smart choices. Which I think is a good way to put it. The popular text “sex respect” as noted on page 105 of Purity Myth bothered me, it warns students of the dire consequences of pre-marital sex; “if you eat bad food, you will get sick. If you jump from a tall building, you will be hurt or killed. If you spend more money than you make, your enslavement to debt affects you and those whom you love. If you have sex outside marriage, there are consequences for you, your partner, and society.” I don’t feel this is the right way to go about telling kids about sex and abstinance. Teens will be who they want and do what they want and this is a crucial time for them to make these choices. You can lead them in the right way without telling them they are going to die?! I understand if this is what your raised in your religion, but keep it to yourself, there is no need to preach. In high school, we had “sex ed” types of classes and I learned a lot. A man came in talking to us about AIDS/HIV, as he was infected, we watched videos on pregnancy, and asked any types of questions about sex. We had a day devoted to talking about every fluid HIV/AIDs could be transferred from/to and how to use condoms and effectiveness. Amazingly it was successful and not awkward. Everyone is in your same position during this time and is just s curious as yourself. It’s better to ask and be informed then make a decision that is not right for you. Just because you learn about these things does not mean you have to go try out condoms and have sex.
Abstinence only classes can actually teach more than about sex. Like I said before you’re going to do what you want if they preach have sex or don’t have sex. It teaches boys to respect girls and they are not just out there for your pleasure. I’m looking at it in a girls view but seen in a boy’s view these classes would teach them important morals. In “No One wants to be the Slut” this passage caught me; “In seventh grade, word got around that I was easy. By the end of eighth grade, I had slept with the entirety of the football team and many of the male teachers. In ninth grade, my stubborn refusal to abandon my pregnant best friend cemented all the accusations in the minds of my classmates. By tenth grade, forget it...I lost my virginity in a rape in tenth grade.” This instantly turned my stomach and made me feel horrible for his girl. It’s so sad that she was labeled this and maybe she kissed a boy. Girl and boys often don’t take in consideration the long term affect of such labels. I’m assuming this person thought she was a slut so they took advantage and ended up raping her. Even If she had slept around, does not mean she wants to sleep with you and gives you no right to rape a woman. It says how she was developed early so her dad’s co-workers would hit on her. This disgusts me. I remember on Halloween when I was 14 I was trick-or-treating with my friend and my mom was walking behind us with the parents and my friends dad and other men were saying how hot I was and how much older I looked than their daughters, this grossed my mom out and told them how disrespectful that is. Just because you are developed at 13 does not mean you have the mentally of a 20 year old. When she said how she told her mother about the abuse and her mother said, “"Ignore them and they'll go away”, made me realize how lucky I was to have a mom that looked after me. This poor girl was being harassed and the person who is supposed to protect her and stick up for her ignored her.
I respect Rachel Welch, yet I think it’s extreme. I think it’s sweet and respectable that she’s saved her kiss for her wedding. To me, kissing isn’t a slutty thing, it’s passionate. I could see saving sex for marriage but I feel kissing is a bond you can share before sex and enjoy until. Maybe she knew f she kissed someone it would tempt her into other things as she said, “That will keep me out of trouble and I just wanted that to be a special gift for the man I was to be married to.” I respect her husband for being so patient. I know this is a bit much to post, but I feel this captures a lot of how I am viewing this;
"Sex is a basic human instinct and to moralize it in this way is ultimately limiting. The idea that Welch respects herself because she has not allowed anyone to kiss her is ridiculous. This kind of thinking limits female sexuality unless it is proscribed by patriarchy. Though she is seen as someone who is ultimately in control, in actuality she is little more than a marionette dancing to the beat of male desires.
Respecting one’s body should mean things like make decisions that are in our best interests and not necessarily be reduced to what we do with our vaginas. You will note that there are no stories about men saving themselves because they want to present a “gift” for a future bride. Female bodies are deemed for consumption of masculinity and therefore the idea that one should save themselves for marriage is aimed at women. The incestuous purity balls far outnumber any ceremonies in which boys/men pledge innocence. This is not about respect or love, this is about control…period."
This is also raising standards for men wanting virgins and for women to have that vaginal rejuvenation surgery. Men are fascinated by virgins it’s a “fetish”, we must be tight and un-used and shaved like a little girl. I don’t think this is helping the fetish at all. I respect her decision but it is a control thing. It also touched base saying how there has never been a color women praised for this, I’m sure other women are pure, colors also, that do it for themselves and not to go on television for. What does everyone else think? Is it good?
Abstinence only classes can actually teach more than about sex. Like I said before you’re going to do what you want if they preach have sex or don’t have sex. It teaches boys to respect girls and they are not just out there for your pleasure. I’m looking at it in a girls view but seen in a boy’s view these classes would teach them important morals. In “No One wants to be the Slut” this passage caught me; “In seventh grade, word got around that I was easy. By the end of eighth grade, I had slept with the entirety of the football team and many of the male teachers. In ninth grade, my stubborn refusal to abandon my pregnant best friend cemented all the accusations in the minds of my classmates. By tenth grade, forget it...I lost my virginity in a rape in tenth grade.” This instantly turned my stomach and made me feel horrible for his girl. It’s so sad that she was labeled this and maybe she kissed a boy. Girl and boys often don’t take in consideration the long term affect of such labels. I’m assuming this person thought she was a slut so they took advantage and ended up raping her. Even If she had slept around, does not mean she wants to sleep with you and gives you no right to rape a woman. It says how she was developed early so her dad’s co-workers would hit on her. This disgusts me. I remember on Halloween when I was 14 I was trick-or-treating with my friend and my mom was walking behind us with the parents and my friends dad and other men were saying how hot I was and how much older I looked than their daughters, this grossed my mom out and told them how disrespectful that is. Just because you are developed at 13 does not mean you have the mentally of a 20 year old. When she said how she told her mother about the abuse and her mother said, “"Ignore them and they'll go away”, made me realize how lucky I was to have a mom that looked after me. This poor girl was being harassed and the person who is supposed to protect her and stick up for her ignored her.
I respect Rachel Welch, yet I think it’s extreme. I think it’s sweet and respectable that she’s saved her kiss for her wedding. To me, kissing isn’t a slutty thing, it’s passionate. I could see saving sex for marriage but I feel kissing is a bond you can share before sex and enjoy until. Maybe she knew f she kissed someone it would tempt her into other things as she said, “That will keep me out of trouble and I just wanted that to be a special gift for the man I was to be married to.” I respect her husband for being so patient. I know this is a bit much to post, but I feel this captures a lot of how I am viewing this;
"Sex is a basic human instinct and to moralize it in this way is ultimately limiting. The idea that Welch respects herself because she has not allowed anyone to kiss her is ridiculous. This kind of thinking limits female sexuality unless it is proscribed by patriarchy. Though she is seen as someone who is ultimately in control, in actuality she is little more than a marionette dancing to the beat of male desires.
Respecting one’s body should mean things like make decisions that are in our best interests and not necessarily be reduced to what we do with our vaginas. You will note that there are no stories about men saving themselves because they want to present a “gift” for a future bride. Female bodies are deemed for consumption of masculinity and therefore the idea that one should save themselves for marriage is aimed at women. The incestuous purity balls far outnumber any ceremonies in which boys/men pledge innocence. This is not about respect or love, this is about control…period."
This is also raising standards for men wanting virgins and for women to have that vaginal rejuvenation surgery. Men are fascinated by virgins it’s a “fetish”, we must be tight and un-used and shaved like a little girl. I don’t think this is helping the fetish at all. I respect her decision but it is a control thing. It also touched base saying how there has never been a color women praised for this, I’m sure other women are pure, colors also, that do it for themselves and not to go on television for. What does everyone else think? Is it good?
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