This body is all mine! I make the rules!

Although I can barely remember my sexual education classes, I’m pretty sure I did not attend abstinence-only classes. I do remember abstinence being stressed as the best option. It all just seemed to textbook to me and statistical. At the time I just felt like what we were being taught was just so foreign to what was going on in my life. How wrong was I!

One of the major ways to get the word out in our communities and beyond that abstinence-only education teaches sexist gender roles, would be to point out that young men are not being taught the same ideals. Just as Valenti points out through out the book, young men are taught they just can’t help it when it comes to sex. This is something that I think would be easier said than done because to get this message out would mean tackling sexist gender roles that exist in every aspect of life. It would require a total shift of the ideals that society and the media has put into everyone’s head. Also it is about trusting young women, which Valenti points out as something society doesn’t do. “Behind all this paternalism is a simple distrust of women. The virginity movement doesn’t just believe that women can’t be trusted to make decisions about their bodies – it believes men can mane those decisions better.” Maybe if we showed that when given the proper unbiased education, young women can make safe decisions about their bodies, then society would feel the “trust” in them they feel they are some how entitled to.

The purity myth most significantly manifests itself in violence against women by blaming the victim. Many of the reasons that Valenti touches on are “provocative dress”, being out late, alcohol consumption, and what really means no. The virginity movement uses this angle to its advantage as juxtaposition to a “pure” girl’s behavior. Valenti describes this by providing this example of their outlook, “Pure women aren’t out at bars or one the street; they’re not in public life – they’re home, where women should be. The virginity movement has created a “you were asking for it” mentality when it comes to rape victims that don’t fit its image of a pure, chaste woman. This mentality is violence against women because it is a scapegoat for attackers. The silly little woman is to blame for getting herself in trouble, and it was her choice to reject to follow any sort of chaste behavior. She must face the consequences. How ridiculous can it get!

I believe Valenti best sums it up by saying, “Women get raped because someone raped them.” This is the essence of the message that needs to be broadcasted when fighting against the rape culture and violence against women. The only way to dismantle purity myth and the virginity fetish to is to take the focus away from a woman’s body being the sum of her worth. Renee, the author of the Never Been Kissed Equals Respect article wrote, “Female bodies are deemed for the consumption of masculinity.” To combat this blind decree that society has created we must make sure to celebrate woman for more than just a flat tummy. I’m not saying ignore beautiful, healthy women because we are all beautiful. That’s a given! I just think we need to cast attention on that amazing women out there who are making achievements in more than just “girly” avenues because it is something that society all too often looks over.