Just say "YES" to ending abstinence-only education

I honestly cannot remember if my high school taught abstinence only education or not. I remember being a Freshman, learning all about drugs and STD's, abuse and rape, but I do not remember if they really taught us about birth control. We certainly never had to put a condom on a banana. Many, many of my classmates became pregnant before graduation- almost 30 a year according to the school nurse. Abstinence-only education is too dangerous, and I wish people would start realizing that.

It's just like Jessica Valenti argued when she was discussing the FDA's 3 year long approval of emergency contraception (and also the HPV vaccine)- everyone seems terrified that, if these things are available to young women, that they will go buck-wild and start fucking everything that moves. This argument means there is a lack of faith in the way parents are raising their daughters, and that women, as Valenti points out, are seen as incapable of making their own decisions. This proves to be a dangerous detriment to women's sexual health- just like the woman who already had 3 children when she and her partner's condom broke and no one would give her EC- she wasn't going to have the baby either way, but now she was forced to seek an abortion. While we're on the topic, I'm absolutely outraged at the radical pharmacists who won't dispense medication unless they deem it "okay" or if they think a girl is impure or acting immorally. It is not THEIR bodies! It is OUR bodies, and we have a right to do with it as we so choose. This sort of thinking and policy making will only change when there are more women in office, women who have gone through these things and understand what it's like to live under the rules of the purity myth and what it's like to have a child, a C-section, be sexually harassed, etc.

I was really astounded by the GGW section of the book. I feel like, as with other pornography, it is important to educate men about what women really want, and what is dangerous and fantastical. We need to stop (monetarily and otherwise) supporting these industries that objectify and de-humanize women. Joe Francis sounds like the world's biggest snake, a predator who preys on young women, with very intelligent attorneys who know just how to work a jury to turn it around on the young women who are his victims.

The only way we can teach these things (at least the only way I can think of as of yet) is to have courses like girls studies in high school or even middle school. I didn't realize half of what I know now until I had read these books and been asked provocative questions. It is so important to empower girls and de-bunk the purity myth as soon as possible, before it has had a chance to wreak havoc on teenager's psyches. How to get these courses implemented in schools that are governed by purity myth legislation is an entirely different battle.

It is obvious, through the stories Valenti shares, that the purity myth opens up many avenues for violence. For instance, the naval officer who was assaulted by 3 of her fellow officers at a party, and then blamed for her own crime. The woman who was assaulted on the "rape trail", managed to get her attacker away, only to be assaulted by a group of drunken men who cheered as her breasts were being fondled. Also, the labeling of sluts- which is basically any girl who doesn't fit into the purity myth- as we read in the on-line article- can cause such a negative stigma that women are ostracized, raped (because it is assumed they "want it") or driven to commit suicide. If the way of thinking wasn't "women must be pure and are bad if they are anything else" but was rather "women have a right to a healthy sexual life, and it is natural and normal for them to explore, much the way men do, without it being cause to question their morality" then no one could call anyone a slut, or socially isolate them for any actions.

We can fight back against rape culture by eliminating traditional gender roles. It is important to tone down the myth that men must be sexually aggressive in order to be masculine (as according to the excerpt in Valenti's book)- if men didn't feel so pressured to obtain sex from women, perhaps there wouldn't be as many violent acts. Also, we need to banish the idea that women are docile, passive, and sexually inert. If we can abolish all of the fantasies that men's sexuality is more important, and more valued, than women's, than I believe that violent crimes would diminish. Traditional gender roles are about power, and as soon as we can get that power more balanced and decisions regarding women's bodies in the hands of WOMEN, we will be able to shed light on what is right and wrong sexually, not according to purity-myth legislature, but according to what is RIGHT and WRONG. Crimes against women of color wouldn't be discounted, crimes against non-virgins wouldn't be discounted, and women's "goodness" would not be defined by their sexual history, or lack thereof.