Man I Feel Like a Woman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auzuUR3IYT8
The thought of virginity has not crossed my mind for years. It’s been about four years since I lost my virginity, which was definitely not a good experience, and I would like to forget. I define virginity as just not having sex until marriage. I believe this came from when I was growing up I always heard you’re not supposed to have sex until marriage, or else you’re a sinner. I believe religion has really tried to scared girls into being abstinent, but its 2009, that is not going to happen, especially since girls are starting young. Instead of preaching abstinence, they should start preaching about self esteem and safe sex. When I was younger, I thought of sex as something “dirty”, and I should have never expressed those views. I passed judgment on a lot of girls in high school that were having oral sex or sex and man does karma suck, because what goes around comes around the same judgment I passed, I received a few years later. Today, I say, you do what you do. Just be safe. In reality, I do not think girls are that concerned today with staying virgins, they are trying to lose their virginity as fast as they can, so they can be “accepted”.
I’m not an expert on pornography, but I believe saying it degrades women, is a statement degrading women itself. Who are we to say what the women are doing wrong? Are they wrong, or are the men producing and directing the pornos wrong? Who should we judge on that issue? I’d prefer not to judge anyone. Some women love what they do; they love sex. Who am I to say that what they are doing is wrong? I know I personally could not be a porn actress, but it is their way of making a living. Of course, they could make a living by a more legitimate or “moral” means, but that’s their life.
Has anybody heard the lies that the young Disney stars are saying about how they wear purity rings, because they are saving themselves for marriage. All of them???? I mean, it seems as if every single Disney star has one. They are all virgins? Yeah, right. I think if anything, this is what needs to be focused on. Disney is having a lot of more access to young girls today because of shows like Hannah Montana and movies like HighSchool Musical, where young girls are looking up to Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens. The same Vanessa Hudgens that has pictures floating around the Internet of her posing naked while she was underage. It wasn’t even a sexy picture, so who knows what she was thinking. Miss California Teen USA 1997 said, “We have morals and are standing up for what we believe in…Because of that I am saving sex for marriage (12)”. Yeah right! She can say that all she wants, but I’m sure the guy that took her virginity, is laughing with all his friends and telling them about all the stuff he made her do with him. I really doubt she was saving herself for marriage. I mean if all these girls lie and say they are saving themselves for marriage, then I might as well too. Why don’t we all just forget our pasts and become born again virgins?
.
In today’s society, sexuality is all around us. I was in the UCF bookstore and Olivia Wilde was on the magazine cover looking AMAZING. She was wearing a tiny, tiny bikini but looked beautiful. In Purity Myth it is stated that, “A woman’s worth lies in her ability-or her refusal-to be sexual. And we’re teaching American girls that, one way or another, their bodies and their sexuality are what makes them valuable.” I believe this is an accurate statement. I can look at Olivia Wilde and think ‘wow, she looks so great. Good for her. She is really coming up in the industry.’ I am 21 years old, have been through a lot with my sexuality already, and my mindset has already been changed not to be too enticed by magazine advertisements. On the other hand, a young girl can look at that same magazine cover and think, “I wish I was that skinny and pretty. Why can’t I look like that? What will make me that sexy? At that point, she loses her self esteem, tries to be sexy, and if she doesn’t view herself as skinny and pretty like Olivia Wilde, her next try at being sexy, is going to be to open her legs or to get on her knees. If anything, this needs to stop. We need to let our girls know that you can be sexy in other ways. I think it has to start first with making the girl feel comfortable with herself. If you aren’t comfortable, you can’t be happy. Can we really blame all of this on the advertising industry, they don’t tell girls ‘hey do this to be sexual’, they just put half naked girls on magazines to sell. They don’t say buy this, and try to look like her. They are just saying, buy this so I can make money.
“When I lost my virginity as a high school freshman, I didn’t understand why I didn’t feel changed somehow. Wasn’t this supposed to be, like a big deal (10).” Isn’t this how most of us girls felt when we lost our virginity. Was that what I was waiting for? Are you serious?!!! In high school kids make it so important to lose your virginity, but why? You aren’t experienced; the boys definitely aren’t experienced, there is no way that it is going to be good sex. I think it’s important to experiment around with someone you trust and love at a point in your lives, but just giving it up to give it up, is ridiculous. I can say that because I’ve been there and when I think back it was so stupid, but I’m smarter now. So I think we need to educate our girls, but if they are not going to listen we just really need to make sure they are safe, until they wise up and learn from their mistakes.
I found it very interesting that “the evangelical Christian group Focus on the Family came out with a study reporting that having sex before the age of eighteen makes you more likely to end up poor and divorced (26).” Are you serious? I know that I had sex before the age of the eighteen and I promise you I will not end up poor or divorced. Well maybe divorced, but not poor hahah. I think that study is just ridiculous and it upsets me that people use Christianity in such horrible ways.
“The Purity Myth” by Jessica Valenti is a very interesting book. Some parts are dull and boring, because why do I want to know about virginity at this age when I lost it so long ago, but she makes some valid points. She referenced an episode of True life featuring celibate youth and I remember that episode. She made a reference to the girl Kristin that was on the show but I remember the guy. I can’t remember his name but he was a “player” before and then he got in a car accident and almost died and realized that he needed to live by God’s Word and he was trying to be celibate. He even resisted temptation from a Playmate! Now that is some temptation for a guy, but after watching that episode I respected him so much more than I respected the girl that was trying to be celibate. Maybe it was because of their reasons for staying celibate. Kristin’s reason was because she kept cheating on her boyfriends and wanted to stop and the guy’s reason was because he wanted to change his life for God. Is there focus on guys that are virgins? Does anyone else think it is harder for a guy to remain a virgin than a girl? I don’t think I even know a guy that is still a virgin.
Reading these chapters reminded me of a Tyra Banks episode where this girl was auctioning off her virginity? Gosh, if I knew back then that I could get money for it, why not??? Just kidding. But how ridiculous is that? Who should be ashamed? The girl? Or the desperate, old man that wants to take a girl’s virginity from her and pay for it. I swear, men have weird, twisted fantasies.
Gosh, I am learning so much from this book. I have never heard of the term “prosti-tots (46). Really, that has become a term now? Young girls are “growing up” so fast, and becoming so easy, that we are not referring to them as “prosti-tots.’ That’s not even a word that my spell check recognizes. What is going on in this world? America really has lost its moral values.
The section titled, “The Emotional/Physical Myth: Sex Means Suffering” really intrigued me. After reading the title, I thought maybe I could relate to it, because casual sex really does have its consequences. The section was about a writer who wrote “Unhooked” in which she argued that “hookup culture has dangerous emotional consequences for young women..(51)”. She then goes on to state that women are not happy with casual sex and that they’d rather “get married, have babies, and bake cookies (52).” To me personally, if I could get married, have babies, and bake cookies, that would be the perfect life for me. Is that wrong? Possibly, but that’s what I want in my life. And I agree with her, definitely not on EVERYTHING ELSE she had to say, just about that. Casual sex is wrong. In my opinion, at the time I thought casual sex was alright, I thought “If a guy can do it, then I can.” But you know what, at the same time I was claiming I was a Christian, while still sleeping around. I’d rather be a loving wife, mother, Christian, with her apron on baking cookies, than someone who sleeps around. And I am not judging those who do it, more power to them, I used to do it too, it’s just not for me. In my opinion, because I’ve been through it, casual sex is wrong and you don’t realize it, until you find that one guy or girl that will make you feel like “what the crap was I doing back then, look at what I have now. Girls and women are too good for that.
All I can say after reading these chapters, even though I’ve said a lot, is, in my opinion, virginity is not that big of an issue today, as much as safe sex and sex education. Girls are young and naïve and they won’t learn, until they make their own mistakes. Then they will learn from their mistakes. Hopefully, their mistakes won’t give them STD’s or AIDS.
The thought of virginity has not crossed my mind for years. It’s been about four years since I lost my virginity, which was definitely not a good experience, and I would like to forget. I define virginity as just not having sex until marriage. I believe this came from when I was growing up I always heard you’re not supposed to have sex until marriage, or else you’re a sinner. I believe religion has really tried to scared girls into being abstinent, but its 2009, that is not going to happen, especially since girls are starting young. Instead of preaching abstinence, they should start preaching about self esteem and safe sex. When I was younger, I thought of sex as something “dirty”, and I should have never expressed those views. I passed judgment on a lot of girls in high school that were having oral sex or sex and man does karma suck, because what goes around comes around the same judgment I passed, I received a few years later. Today, I say, you do what you do. Just be safe. In reality, I do not think girls are that concerned today with staying virgins, they are trying to lose their virginity as fast as they can, so they can be “accepted”.
I’m not an expert on pornography, but I believe saying it degrades women, is a statement degrading women itself. Who are we to say what the women are doing wrong? Are they wrong, or are the men producing and directing the pornos wrong? Who should we judge on that issue? I’d prefer not to judge anyone. Some women love what they do; they love sex. Who am I to say that what they are doing is wrong? I know I personally could not be a porn actress, but it is their way of making a living. Of course, they could make a living by a more legitimate or “moral” means, but that’s their life.
Has anybody heard the lies that the young Disney stars are saying about how they wear purity rings, because they are saving themselves for marriage. All of them???? I mean, it seems as if every single Disney star has one. They are all virgins? Yeah, right. I think if anything, this is what needs to be focused on. Disney is having a lot of more access to young girls today because of shows like Hannah Montana and movies like HighSchool Musical, where young girls are looking up to Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens. The same Vanessa Hudgens that has pictures floating around the Internet of her posing naked while she was underage. It wasn’t even a sexy picture, so who knows what she was thinking. Miss California Teen USA 1997 said, “We have morals and are standing up for what we believe in…Because of that I am saving sex for marriage (12)”. Yeah right! She can say that all she wants, but I’m sure the guy that took her virginity, is laughing with all his friends and telling them about all the stuff he made her do with him. I really doubt she was saving herself for marriage. I mean if all these girls lie and say they are saving themselves for marriage, then I might as well too. Why don’t we all just forget our pasts and become born again virgins?
.
In today’s society, sexuality is all around us. I was in the UCF bookstore and Olivia Wilde was on the magazine cover looking AMAZING. She was wearing a tiny, tiny bikini but looked beautiful. In Purity Myth it is stated that, “A woman’s worth lies in her ability-or her refusal-to be sexual. And we’re teaching American girls that, one way or another, their bodies and their sexuality are what makes them valuable.” I believe this is an accurate statement. I can look at Olivia Wilde and think ‘wow, she looks so great. Good for her. She is really coming up in the industry.’ I am 21 years old, have been through a lot with my sexuality already, and my mindset has already been changed not to be too enticed by magazine advertisements. On the other hand, a young girl can look at that same magazine cover and think, “I wish I was that skinny and pretty. Why can’t I look like that? What will make me that sexy? At that point, she loses her self esteem, tries to be sexy, and if she doesn’t view herself as skinny and pretty like Olivia Wilde, her next try at being sexy, is going to be to open her legs or to get on her knees. If anything, this needs to stop. We need to let our girls know that you can be sexy in other ways. I think it has to start first with making the girl feel comfortable with herself. If you aren’t comfortable, you can’t be happy. Can we really blame all of this on the advertising industry, they don’t tell girls ‘hey do this to be sexual’, they just put half naked girls on magazines to sell. They don’t say buy this, and try to look like her. They are just saying, buy this so I can make money.
“When I lost my virginity as a high school freshman, I didn’t understand why I didn’t feel changed somehow. Wasn’t this supposed to be, like a big deal (10).” Isn’t this how most of us girls felt when we lost our virginity. Was that what I was waiting for? Are you serious?!!! In high school kids make it so important to lose your virginity, but why? You aren’t experienced; the boys definitely aren’t experienced, there is no way that it is going to be good sex. I think it’s important to experiment around with someone you trust and love at a point in your lives, but just giving it up to give it up, is ridiculous. I can say that because I’ve been there and when I think back it was so stupid, but I’m smarter now. So I think we need to educate our girls, but if they are not going to listen we just really need to make sure they are safe, until they wise up and learn from their mistakes.
I found it very interesting that “the evangelical Christian group Focus on the Family came out with a study reporting that having sex before the age of eighteen makes you more likely to end up poor and divorced (26).” Are you serious? I know that I had sex before the age of the eighteen and I promise you I will not end up poor or divorced. Well maybe divorced, but not poor hahah. I think that study is just ridiculous and it upsets me that people use Christianity in such horrible ways.
“The Purity Myth” by Jessica Valenti is a very interesting book. Some parts are dull and boring, because why do I want to know about virginity at this age when I lost it so long ago, but she makes some valid points. She referenced an episode of True life featuring celibate youth and I remember that episode. She made a reference to the girl Kristin that was on the show but I remember the guy. I can’t remember his name but he was a “player” before and then he got in a car accident and almost died and realized that he needed to live by God’s Word and he was trying to be celibate. He even resisted temptation from a Playmate! Now that is some temptation for a guy, but after watching that episode I respected him so much more than I respected the girl that was trying to be celibate. Maybe it was because of their reasons for staying celibate. Kristin’s reason was because she kept cheating on her boyfriends and wanted to stop and the guy’s reason was because he wanted to change his life for God. Is there focus on guys that are virgins? Does anyone else think it is harder for a guy to remain a virgin than a girl? I don’t think I even know a guy that is still a virgin.
Reading these chapters reminded me of a Tyra Banks episode where this girl was auctioning off her virginity? Gosh, if I knew back then that I could get money for it, why not??? Just kidding. But how ridiculous is that? Who should be ashamed? The girl? Or the desperate, old man that wants to take a girl’s virginity from her and pay for it. I swear, men have weird, twisted fantasies.
Gosh, I am learning so much from this book. I have never heard of the term “prosti-tots (46). Really, that has become a term now? Young girls are “growing up” so fast, and becoming so easy, that we are not referring to them as “prosti-tots.’ That’s not even a word that my spell check recognizes. What is going on in this world? America really has lost its moral values.
The section titled, “The Emotional/Physical Myth: Sex Means Suffering” really intrigued me. After reading the title, I thought maybe I could relate to it, because casual sex really does have its consequences. The section was about a writer who wrote “Unhooked” in which she argued that “hookup culture has dangerous emotional consequences for young women..(51)”. She then goes on to state that women are not happy with casual sex and that they’d rather “get married, have babies, and bake cookies (52).” To me personally, if I could get married, have babies, and bake cookies, that would be the perfect life for me. Is that wrong? Possibly, but that’s what I want in my life. And I agree with her, definitely not on EVERYTHING ELSE she had to say, just about that. Casual sex is wrong. In my opinion, at the time I thought casual sex was alright, I thought “If a guy can do it, then I can.” But you know what, at the same time I was claiming I was a Christian, while still sleeping around. I’d rather be a loving wife, mother, Christian, with her apron on baking cookies, than someone who sleeps around. And I am not judging those who do it, more power to them, I used to do it too, it’s just not for me. In my opinion, because I’ve been through it, casual sex is wrong and you don’t realize it, until you find that one guy or girl that will make you feel like “what the crap was I doing back then, look at what I have now. Girls and women are too good for that.
All I can say after reading these chapters, even though I’ve said a lot, is, in my opinion, virginity is not that big of an issue today, as much as safe sex and sex education. Girls are young and naïve and they won’t learn, until they make their own mistakes. Then they will learn from their mistakes. Hopefully, their mistakes won’t give them STD’s or AIDS.
Comments
I don't think the discussion should really even consider whether or not these women and young women are actually virgins or not. It's interesting but in the larger picture it doesn't really matter. The fact is that they are wielding sexuality, virginity to be more precise, as a popularity tool. The virginity concept isn't about morality, it's about placing value on a woman's sexuality and controlling that sexuality. As you point out, it even seems that big corporate is jumping into the movement as evidenced by all the latest Disney child stars to be pumped out recently wearing purity rings. They all have one thing in common: their boss. And we all know how moral big corporate is.