Gangly-Girl Speaks Out

I was average height and really skinny; gangly even. Boys were not attracted to me and I did not understand anything about dieting until I hit my mid twenties. I just had no concept. I didn’t realize that one of my friends was anorexic. I was accused of being anorexic and I always had to reassure people that I ate. Looking back, I realize I did not eat lunch because I thought the food was disgusting at school. Now, my own ten year old daughter is facing the same thing and I don’t want to stick her with partially-hydrogenated anything or Lunchables. I am trying to figure it out. I was not skinny because I skipped lunch; my mother and my father were both very thin. Don’t worry; I have a mid-section now thanks to steroid shots for nerve pain. I was extremely innocent and socially behind as I lived like a child. I did not know my mother had deep concern about me because I did not start my period until I was fourteen. I had a small chest (not flat) but I was still too skinny. I recall a fellow middle-schooler starting her period without protection and she was wearing white pants. Boys called her “Period.” I felt awful for her but I did not have mine. I did not understand sex-ed because girls were shown this giant elephant-looking thing and I did not understand its relationship to me (the cervix, fallopian tubes etc).
I think parents need to talk to their kids about sex and their bodies. I just bought a book for my daughter that is age-appropriate and that she can look at from her bookshelf (whenever SHE wants to, privately). The girls in “Red” related about how they did not fit in and I think girls get very clique-ish, especially starting in middle school. Some kind of bonding and explanation of girls’ bodies and their relationships with one another needs to be explained because this becomes the beginning of rivalry amongst girls, where they pit one against another. Anything different is bad. They need help! They need to learn coping skills because the girls in “Red” developed their own unhealthy methods to cope with stress. The cutting and anorexia-bulimia stories were really hard for me to read as I related with their pain and read through their coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, the F-Cat is probably going to take over the space that could be used to teach and coach girls to try sports and whatever is under the sun. The story where the girls watch “The Movie” was really interesting since the girls’ ideas of bras changed the acceptance (at least briefly) for one girl. Just one simple act of education helped girls to embrace their bodies.