Women, Sex, and Double Standards
At my high school, we attended abstinence-only sex education classes. We learned an extensive amount about different STD’s and diseases that could be the consequence of engaging in sexual activity. They stressed the importance of saving sex for marriage because having sex as a teenager would ultimately “ruin your life.” Different forms of contraception were briefly mentioned; however, abstinence was stressed as the ONLY way to protect yourself and your partner from pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases. These classes did not teach us how to properly use condoms or about the pros and cons of using oral contraceptives. Honestly, I never even knew that the Plan B pill existed until my freshman year in college, when my best friend needed emergency contraception (sad, I know)! Instead of focusing so much on trying to get the youth of our generation to remain abstinent, school officials and the directors of these various “sex education” classes really need be objective and teach safe sex and even bring to light the issues we are facing in today’s society when it comes to sexist gender roles.
I found Chapter 8, “Beyond Manliness,” to be very interesting. Jessica Valenti provides readers with a plethora of evidence regarding sexist gender roles that can be seen in our everyday lives and are included in television, movies, music, and even politics. The message was clear and consistent with each example she provided: “in order to be a man, one must avoid being feminine at all costs” (168). This notion is so crazy and absurd to me. It is a shame that this fear of being feminine is so embedded in our society. Sexist gender roles also play a role in the myth of sexual purity in which “men are “men,” women are chaste, and a gender-based hierarchy is essential” (168). The fact that these concepts and beliefs are so entrenched in our society is the primary reason why sexual double standards exist.
The purity myth itself definitely manifests itself in violence against women. It was so upsetting to read the different stories about rape cases and to see how quickly concern for the victims turned into blame. When it comes to sexual violence, the media is prompt in separating the “good girls” from the “bad girls.” Like Valenti says, these women are stereotyped into the “rape victims worthy of sympathy and the slutty girls who should have known better” (148). This mentality makes me so mad because no one is ever deserving of such a horrible act. Being responsible or “knowing better” has nothing to do with being raped. The media is notorious for labeling these women as impure which in turn goes back to the purity myth. The purity myth needs to be dismantled in order to fight back against rape culture. “Under the purity myth, the only women who can truly be raped are those who are chaste – and given how limiting the purity myth is, and how few women actually fit into its tight mold, the consequence is that most women are seen as incapable of being raped” (157).
I found Chapter 8, “Beyond Manliness,” to be very interesting. Jessica Valenti provides readers with a plethora of evidence regarding sexist gender roles that can be seen in our everyday lives and are included in television, movies, music, and even politics. The message was clear and consistent with each example she provided: “in order to be a man, one must avoid being feminine at all costs” (168). This notion is so crazy and absurd to me. It is a shame that this fear of being feminine is so embedded in our society. Sexist gender roles also play a role in the myth of sexual purity in which “men are “men,” women are chaste, and a gender-based hierarchy is essential” (168). The fact that these concepts and beliefs are so entrenched in our society is the primary reason why sexual double standards exist.
The purity myth itself definitely manifests itself in violence against women. It was so upsetting to read the different stories about rape cases and to see how quickly concern for the victims turned into blame. When it comes to sexual violence, the media is prompt in separating the “good girls” from the “bad girls.” Like Valenti says, these women are stereotyped into the “rape victims worthy of sympathy and the slutty girls who should have known better” (148). This mentality makes me so mad because no one is ever deserving of such a horrible act. Being responsible or “knowing better” has nothing to do with being raped. The media is notorious for labeling these women as impure which in turn goes back to the purity myth. The purity myth needs to be dismantled in order to fight back against rape culture. “Under the purity myth, the only women who can truly be raped are those who are chaste – and given how limiting the purity myth is, and how few women actually fit into its tight mold, the consequence is that most women are seen as incapable of being raped” (157).
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