Week 8: The Gift
The problem with abstinence-only education and purity myth is that it is focused and epitomizes white women. In the reading “Never Been Kissed Equals Respect?” the author states “Men are encouraged to explore their sexuality whereas a woman who performs similar behavior is quickly devalued and labeled a slut.” It does not take a girl very long to learn in high school that boys can sleep with whoever they want and it is cool, but if a girl was to do the same she is considered dirty or a slut. But what is this teaching girls? It is teaching them that women are inferior and susceptible to harsher judgment to men, that men can do what they please. While I agree that abstinence is a good thing and I respect women who chose this, it is not logical to teach abstinence-only. We need to be arming our girls knowledge about sex so if they chose to have sex, they are educated about it and hopefully make the right decisions to avoid pregnancy or STDs.
One way we can do this is through sex education classes in schools. To think for a moment that the majority of teenagers are not having sex is nothing short of naivety. So let’s prepare them on the ramifications and issues that accompany sex. The youth need to be taught that this is not just a one sided commitment, but that there is truth to the saying “it takes two to tango”. More than anything I am sick of the lack of responsibility of young men when they get someone pregnant. I have seen so many times where a young girl or women is left to be a single mother, and the child is left fatherless do to the irresponsible male. We need to be educating this males that it is just as much their responsibility and just as much their baby as the woman’s.
One problem that I have with “the gift” is how it is a one-sided gift most of the time. We have a woman, who saves her self, who is pure to give herself to a man, who is most likely not giving her the same “gift”. Why would she want that? The whole idea of the “gift” is to share the experience together, to give yourself to only one person, and to be the first to each other. So, what is the point if the male has already given his “gift” to someone else?
Another problem is how rape is running rampant in this country, but is not in the least bit alarming. Valenti states “ Women who have had sex can’t be raped, because as the law said the damage is done. They’re no longer valuable; maybe they’re no longer even women, in fact, but are completely dehumanized(147)”. She was referring to the law in Maryland. I was appalled when reading this. Because women are not staying virgins until they are married, rape is seen as something they had coming. Society and the law is stating that after a women as had sex she is “damaged goods”. It seems in a society so obsessed with consumerism that women are devalued to nothing more than a commodity to be consumed and throw away once “broken”. The media’s portrayal of the purity myth is categorizing girls as either “good girls” or “bad girls”, the deciding factor being whether or not they have had sex. This has led to the assumption that good girls that are raped are “worthy of sympathy and slutty girls should have know better (148)”.
It infuriates me that ANYONE can say that someone deserved to be raped, that anyone deserved to be taken advantage of and sexually abused. Until we decide that a women should not be judged by sex life, than rape will continue to be seen as nothing more than “she had it coming”. We must put an end to rape by not categorizing girls, instead embracing them for who they are, and praising them for their strengthens and abilities.
One way we can do this is through sex education classes in schools. To think for a moment that the majority of teenagers are not having sex is nothing short of naivety. So let’s prepare them on the ramifications and issues that accompany sex. The youth need to be taught that this is not just a one sided commitment, but that there is truth to the saying “it takes two to tango”. More than anything I am sick of the lack of responsibility of young men when they get someone pregnant. I have seen so many times where a young girl or women is left to be a single mother, and the child is left fatherless do to the irresponsible male. We need to be educating this males that it is just as much their responsibility and just as much their baby as the woman’s.
One problem that I have with “the gift” is how it is a one-sided gift most of the time. We have a woman, who saves her self, who is pure to give herself to a man, who is most likely not giving her the same “gift”. Why would she want that? The whole idea of the “gift” is to share the experience together, to give yourself to only one person, and to be the first to each other. So, what is the point if the male has already given his “gift” to someone else?
Another problem is how rape is running rampant in this country, but is not in the least bit alarming. Valenti states “ Women who have had sex can’t be raped, because as the law said the damage is done. They’re no longer valuable; maybe they’re no longer even women, in fact, but are completely dehumanized(147)”. She was referring to the law in Maryland. I was appalled when reading this. Because women are not staying virgins until they are married, rape is seen as something they had coming. Society and the law is stating that after a women as had sex she is “damaged goods”. It seems in a society so obsessed with consumerism that women are devalued to nothing more than a commodity to be consumed and throw away once “broken”. The media’s portrayal of the purity myth is categorizing girls as either “good girls” or “bad girls”, the deciding factor being whether or not they have had sex. This has led to the assumption that good girls that are raped are “worthy of sympathy and slutty girls should have know better (148)”.
It infuriates me that ANYONE can say that someone deserved to be raped, that anyone deserved to be taken advantage of and sexually abused. Until we decide that a women should not be judged by sex life, than rape will continue to be seen as nothing more than “she had it coming”. We must put an end to rape by not categorizing girls, instead embracing them for who they are, and praising them for their strengthens and abilities.
Comments
I totally agree with you! I think another part of the issue is embracing diversity. We are all different, and we all take are own "sexual path" but it doesn't define who we are.