Kids need condoms!

By Kari -
The other night I watched the movie Kids with my boyfriend. It definitely wasn’t what I was expecting and I was so shocked it made me kind of sick. It’s safe to say we were not interested in touching each other after watching, it really degraded sex for me. The way the main character talked about fucking girls disgusted me. It’s hard to believe guys really talk about sex and women like that. It seemed obvious to me that those girls were forced into sex and were not enjoying it yet he told his friend how they were so into it. My boyfriend really had a hard time thinking this movie was close to reality, so I’m glad he doesn’t know any guys like this, but I had to explain to him the realities of how some men treat women. The ending was really sad, even though I knew he had HIV I was shocked for the girl who got tested and found out after one time having sex she had contracted the HIV virus. Watching her cry about how to tell her mom and her little brother was hard, then when she went to go find the guy I thought she would kill him but she never ended up saying anything even though she caught him mid act with another virgin in bed. Then when she was getting raped I couldn’t help but feel glad the guy was getting what he deserved.

It comes down to the fact that a lot of people do not use condoms. I learned 25% of couples use a condom in my women’s health issues course a few weeks ago and I was really shocked. It’s an easy protection I’ve always used and I don’t know any friends that don’t. Even on birth control I still think it’s a good idea to use condoms just for the pregnancy factor, but for STDs it’s so important. Especially if I was having sex with people I barely knew and not in a serious relationship I would be using condoms, and if they guy doesn’t want to then he doesn’t really want to have sex.

I’m kind of at a loss on how to get more people to use condoms, if price is the issue you can’t get them free at many clinics if you want to. Maybe people are just lazy which is really hard to change. I don’t get how not wearing one can be more important than contracting diseases and getting pregnant. It really is a sexual health epidemic.

Comments

Dominique said…
I was shocked and disgusted listening to men talk about women in the movie too. I distance myself a lot from masculine culture, and I struggle with how to respond to it. It's really hard for me to talk to men who view men and women like two separate species...which is a lot of men. I shouldn't have to feel like I need to "man up" ; ) and deal with really patriarchal sexist men, but I want to start figuring out healthy ways to talk to guys I usually avoid...because we need to challenge patriarchy when we can, how we can, whatever that means for us.
October 19, 2008 at 9:00 PM
Ali said…
In regard to getting what he deserved, I just couldn't stop thinking about how many women he would rape or sleep with after that - and the fact that they would then be in the same position as Jennie.
October 19, 2008 at 10:23 PM
j.leigh said…
Dominique, I really loved your response to this. I too find myself at odds with how to respond to the men in my life who cannot grasp the concept of patriarchy or how to check their own privileges and what consequences that has in their own lives and the lives of the women (and men) around them. I hadn't spent much time around men at all until this year, and now I'm going through the process of sorting out my feelings about their comments and figuring out how to react to comments that I would never hear coming from any of my feminist, female friends. I agree with you though, it is important to find new ways to navigate conversation through patriarchy, and it's something I feel like we should all brainstorm together!
October 20, 2008 at 8:47 PM
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