Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Boyfriend List: girl code exposed

The book I read is a few years old and is written for young girls. I actually bought it at the dollar tree which surprised me after reading it because it was really good. It’s called “The Boyfriend List” and the author is E. Lockhart. I tried googling her and there was pretty much nothing besides her blog and her website. Her bio on her website gave me no information about her background and she really didn’t give any personal info besides her first name which is Emily. I was sure after reading this book again and noticing all the stuff about vegetarianism and feminism that she’d be some sort of activist.

The book was about this girl named Ruby and the list of boyfriends (official or not) that she’s ever had; which was an assignment from her therapist. It’s a cute way to write a book and I really enjoyed the sequencing and style. The most annoying thing in the book is that her nickname is Roo which for some reason really repulsed me.

Ruby’s life was probably like most girls, growing up with your girlfriends gossiping and talking about boys. Ranting about boys, fighting with your friends and having people hurt you. She ends up seeing the therapist because she’d been having panic attacks after losing her boyfriend to her best friend while losing all her other friends for kissing her ex. No one at school talks to her and she becomes a self proclaimed leper and after her first draft of her list is taken out of the school trash can she is labeled a slut. You cant help feel for Ruby, her boyfriend breaks up with her and then a few days later her best friend calls to tell her they are dating and she shouldn’t be upset because they didn’t do anything before they broke up. The whole book talks about girl code, and dating your best friends ex a few days later is definitely against girl code in my book. Then when her ex asks her to prom as friends because his new girlfriend is out of town and Ruby gets caught up in his compliments and kisses him, he kisses her back until someone sees him and he acts like he didn’t want to kiss her. Then everyone is mad at Ruby and she’s kind of stuck with no friends.

I can relate to that a lot. While I was reading this I was really emotionally involved. I empathized with Ruby a lot. I remember losing all your friends when you were younger even if it was for a few days or something stupid. The thing that sucks is that it’s still relevant as a college age woman which shows this catty girlness travels into womanhood. It left me wondering, who makes up girl code and when it’s ok to break it or change the rules. It’s so hard to know how to follow, and girls will either love you or hate you if you don’t play the game right. Why does our gender do this? I never noticed guys having boy code and even though they might feel the same way about a friend dating their ex it’s something they would never bring up. Maybe that is the guy code though; you just can’t have any feelings.

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