Identities and Toxic Friendships

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Watching the clip of Ghost World in class, I was confronted with all the mixed feelings about toxic friendships that I’ve had, but not taken much time to flesh out. So I decided to watch it again. Ghost World was one of my favorite movies in high school, and I still think it’s great, but, for me, it’s inextricably tangled with thoughts of my own toxic friendship.


The film directly addresses issues of identity formation and the influence and importance of a friend’s acceptance in close relationships between girls. The scene that first caught my attention was the after-prom party. Todd asks Becky where she plans to go to college, and Enid answers that they have “other plans.” She steers Becky away before she is given a chance to respond, redirecting her attention to something that they can bond over. Enid is repeatedly inconsiderate toward Rebecca, ignoring her feelings and wishes. Becky is committed to living out their dream of having an apartment together, while Enid is more interested in hassling Josh and getting to know Seymour.

The divide between Enid and Rebecca presents itself early on in the film, when Enid’s mocking interest in Seymour extends into a sort of friendship and Becky pursues a job and “normal” life. They drift further apart as Enid’s apparent confusion over her future and her desires grow. Enid’s individual actions aren’t so immensely hurtful, but what her actions imply and her dismissive attitude toward Becky, in addition to their differing ambitions, that hastens their drift apart. Enid is fun and interesting, but she’s manipulative. It seems like she’s used to Becky following her lead, and is thrown off when she decides to do what she wants regardless of Enid’s cooperation.

Often girls who are more passive become and stay friends with girls who are more assertive and vocal, admiring and emulating their seeming power. The downside of these friendships, in my experience, is that the more assertive girl is often also coercive and demanding. I don’t know how to really analyze these friendships – to get at why each girl acts as she does. But the friendship in Ghost World, while it starts off fun, quickly deteriorates into a hurtful relationship – one I wish I weren’t so familiar with.

A favorite Ghost World quote (from memory so probably not exact):

“You’ll see, you get sick of all the creeps, losers, and weirdos.”
“But those are our people.”

- Ali

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