White Oleander

I remember watching "White Oleander" on lifetime a few years ago, but the movie was nothing compared to the book. It was so intriguing to read about the life of twelve year old Astrid, a young, insecure, girl who followed in her mom's shadow. At the beginning of the book, Astrid is a young and shy girl who lives for her mother. When her mom goes to prison for murdering her ex-lover we see Astrid's life turn around. Astrid is taken to countless numbers of foster homes where she learns a little about life from each one of them.

In the beginning, we are introduced to Astrid and her mom. Her mom is a free-spirit artist who Astrid admired and wanted to be like. "I thought of my mother as Queen Christina, cool and sad, eyes trained on some distant horizon. That was where she belonged, in furs and palaces of rare treasures, fireplaces large enough to roast a reindeer, ships of Swedish maple. My deepest fear was that someday she would find her way back there and never return. It was why I always waited up when she went out on nights like this , no matter how late she came home. I had to hear her key in the lock, smell her violent perfume again (10)." Astrid did not know her father and all she had was her mother. She was so scared of losing of her mom that she could not even go to sleep until her mom came home. Astrid could not even be herself. She was who her mom wanted her to be. "And I tried not to make it worse by asking for things, pulling her down with my thoughts. I had seen girls clamor for new clothes and complain about what their mothers made for diner. I was always moritfied. didn't they know they were tying their mothers to the ground? Weren't they ashamed of their prisoners (10)? In this part of the book we see Astrid is not like other twelve year old girls. She does whatever her mom asks of her, because she is scared of losing her mom.


In a second, Astrid watched as her life changed. Her mother, who usually does not let men too close to her falls for a man who tried to sweep her off her feet. She falls in love with a man by the name of Barry who broke up with her. Not being able to deal with the rejection, Astrid’s mother poisons Barry and kills him. She is arrested for murder and is sentenced to life in prison. Astrid had a home, a mother, and a life. Astrid begins to think about how her life has changed, and how so many kids are going through the same thing as her. . "How many children had this happened to? How many children were like me, floating like plankton in the wide ocean? I thought how tenuous the links were between mother and children, between friends, family, things you think are eternal. Everything could be lost, more easily than anyone could imagine (47). "Astrid's first foster home is with a woman named Starr, her lover, and three kids. Star is a religious woman who used to be addicted to drugs and alcohol. At this home, Astrid builds a relationship with God. Astrid's short relationship with the Heavenly Father was very intriguing to me. Astrid's mother did not believe in religion, but Astrid knew Jesus was the only one to get her through the difficult life that her mother's selfish actions, forced upon her. “Jesus knew my thoughts, knew everything, even if I couldn't see him or really feel Him. He could keep me from falling, from being washed away (75)". Astrid's relationship with Jesus begins to slowly fade away when she starts becoming attracted to her foster mother's boyfriend. Never having a father, Astrid falls in love with her foster mother's boyfriend, a fifty year old divorcee with a kid. Astrid is a twelve year old girl sleeping with a fifty year old man. Why? Astrid never knew her father and never had a father figure around. She saw her mom date different guys, but none of them ever stayed. That would be against her mom's rules, but Astrid did not have any rules. "I didn't care what was right anymore. I had a condom from Carolee's drawer in my pocket, and the man I'd always wanted for once in a place we could be alone. I took off my plaid shirt, tossed it onto the floor. I took off my T-shirt. I took off my bra and let him see me, small and very pale, not Starr, but me, all I had. I untied my hiking books, kicked them off. I unbuttoned my jeans and let them fall. Ray looked sad right then, like someone was dying, his back pressed against the smudged window. 'I never wanted this to happen,' he said. 'You're a liar, Ray,' I said. Then he was kneeling in front of me, his arms around my hips, kissing my belly, my thighs, his hands on my bare bottom, fingers in the silky wetness between my legs, tasting me there. My smell on his mouth as I knelt down with him, ran my hands over his body, opened his clothes, I felt for him, hard, larger than I'd thought it would be. And I thought, there was no God, there was only what you wanted (86)". Astrid had her innocence taking away from so many people. Her mother's selfish actions led her to foster homes where she had to grow up, faster than she should have. A man old enough to be her grandfather took her virginity. Astrid longed to be love by a man, by her father. The end of Astrid's stay at this foster home comes when her foster mother shoots her after realizing that Astrid has been sleeping with her boyfriend. Astrid's stay with Starr was such a hard struggle to read about. I saw an insecure girl who longed to be love. Astrid did not care about the consequences she just cared about getting what she wanted; some sort of love. In this section of the book, statutory rape, drug abuse, and alcoholism are written about.

Astrid's next foster home is with ED AND MARVEL Turlock. Marvel treated Astrid as her little slave. It is at this home, where Astrid meet Olivia, a black high-class prostitute. Astrid falls in love with Olivia. She admires the confidence and classiness of this woman who she wants to spend all of her time with, but Olivia influences Astrid in a negative way. At the park one day, Astrid feigns for some drugs and gives head to a teenage boy for a half bag of marijuana. Astrid has changed from a shy girl into a girl, with no limits and no boundaries. “With Ray it was never like this. Then it was one pleasure after another, mouths, hands, the richness of skin, every surprise. This was the opposite of sex. I felt nothing for this boy, for his body moving. It felt like working. It cut the heart out for making love, turned it into something more no more exciting than brushing your teeth. When the boy was done, I spat out the bitter come, wiped my mouth on my shirt (140).” When Astrid thought about what she just did she thinks, ‘My first trick, I thought, trying out the sound of it (140).” Astrid was so influenced by the people around her, that she believed if it was okay for Olivia to make money from sex, it was okay for her to give a guy head for a bag of marijuana. What happened to the little girl who just sat around watching her mother’s every move quietly.? The system happened. So many kids are taking into foster homes where there are living with people with no morals, values, or any love and compassion. These kids are entering into a hell like no other.

Reading the book, I was so happy when Claire became her foster mother. Claire was an actress who I believe changed Astrid in a good way. She paid Astrid attention, encouraged her, and loved her. Astrid began taking honors classes and dreamed of college. As soon as things get to be the best that they had ever been for Astrid, her life changed. Claire becomes depressed that her husband does not want to spend time with her and turns to alcohol and pills to cope with the pain. Astrid now has to take care of her. Claire ends up overdosing on sleeping pills and she is moved again to another foster home. During her stay with Claire, I think Astrid gained confidence and learned how to speak up for herself.

Astrid has a long battle with herself and those she is forced upon for six years before she gets out of the system and turns eighteen. Astrid deals with drug addiction, prostitution, attempted murder, too many other things that a young girl should not have to go through. This book made me wonder about the lives of foster kids. Do all foster kids encounter the difficult circumstances that Astrid had to overcome? In what ways can we help kids who have no voice for themselves? Astrid lost her innocence at such a young age due to her need for a father and her need to be loved. Young girls need to be taught that you can love yourself, even if you THINK that no one else loves you.