Purity pledges on the Internet
Do you read The American Virgin? If not, you should. It's a really great blog with a focus on "virginity" -- both the purity movement, abstinence-only education, and they also do some first person interviews with people who consider themselves "virgins" with questions about their opinions on the topic.
The latest post has to do with virginity pledges happening on Facebook. Full disclosure: I find nothing wrong with people abstaining from sex for any particular reason that they choose to. As a sex-positive feminist, who am I to tell people what they should or should not do with their own bodies? Making informed choices about sex -- whether it's having a happy, healthy sex life within a monogamous relationship, or having a happy, healthy sex live with as many partners as you'd like -- also means that you have the option to make informed choices about not having sex. The key word is "informed" -- are you remaining abstinent because it is what *you* truly want to do, or are you remaining abstinent because you think it is what you *should* do?
The many questions I have for people who sign purity pledges are: what will you do if you never get married? What will you do if you do get married, have sex with your new husband or wife, only to find that they become unfaithful or leave you? Will you become a "born again" virgin? What if you find you are not sexually compatible at all? These are not meant to be judgmental questions, but things that are never talked about within the purity movement and ones that I would be interested in seeing how they are handled.
Coupled with the promise of staying pure, it also puts a lot of pressure on marriage and the idea of finding "the one" -- but does this mean people will settle? Or worse, rush into things? Divorce rates are higher today than ever, yet the people who are often behind the purity movement are also the ones fighting against same-sex marriage, which is another interesting aspect tied into it.
I know we're all over The Purity Myth but it's a topic that continues to fascinate and confuse me, all at the same time.
The latest post has to do with virginity pledges happening on Facebook. Full disclosure: I find nothing wrong with people abstaining from sex for any particular reason that they choose to. As a sex-positive feminist, who am I to tell people what they should or should not do with their own bodies? Making informed choices about sex -- whether it's having a happy, healthy sex life within a monogamous relationship, or having a happy, healthy sex live with as many partners as you'd like -- also means that you have the option to make informed choices about not having sex. The key word is "informed" -- are you remaining abstinent because it is what *you* truly want to do, or are you remaining abstinent because you think it is what you *should* do?
The many questions I have for people who sign purity pledges are: what will you do if you never get married? What will you do if you do get married, have sex with your new husband or wife, only to find that they become unfaithful or leave you? Will you become a "born again" virgin? What if you find you are not sexually compatible at all? These are not meant to be judgmental questions, but things that are never talked about within the purity movement and ones that I would be interested in seeing how they are handled.
Coupled with the promise of staying pure, it also puts a lot of pressure on marriage and the idea of finding "the one" -- but does this mean people will settle? Or worse, rush into things? Divorce rates are higher today than ever, yet the people who are often behind the purity movement are also the ones fighting against same-sex marriage, which is another interesting aspect tied into it.
I know we're all over The Purity Myth but it's a topic that continues to fascinate and confuse me, all at the same time.
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