The Family Way
The Family Way
In a majority of our lives, it would be safe to say that family is incredibly important. What that family looks like can be incredibly diverse, just as the rest of the world is around us. Family can even be loosely defined depending on who you are, extending to friends or others that don't share the same blood as you. No matter who you consider to be your family, I feel it would be safe to say that they play a large role in your life as a person. This is just how I feel about my family, who works hard every day in order to support me and my siblings in everything that we do.
But what exactly does the family standard look like, and why is it so important to society today? Here in the United States, for the vast majority, there is not really a "normal" family, but the media continues to push that there is, just as it does with many other things. This "normal family is generally considered to be "the nuclear family of the middle-class, white, married, heterosexual couple with children" (Shaw & Lee 399).
I find that this standard of family is still very prevalent today, with one example being theme park passes. I know that this is definitely a bit of a random example, but that does not make it any less true. Most family park passes of tickets or annual passes come in packages of four, which matches up to the "ideal" nuclear family: two parents and two children, often shown as a boy and a girl. This is even true for family vacation packages as well, which are often based on groups of four. As someone who comes from a family of five, this has always been something I noticed, especially when my mother would enter contests for these kinds of things. I always thought to myself, "Who would have to stay behind?" My experience, along with that of so many others, shows that this assumed family is not reality for most.
Another aspect of family that has been incredibly prevalent in my life has been the expectations put on me to start one. This is not a unique experience to me, of course, as many young women have been pressured for quite some time to "settle down" and start a family. Although times have changed, of course, "women are expected to want to be mothers, and they are expected to take primary responsibility for the nurturing of children" (Shaw & Lee 414). In the world we live in today, it almost seems like part of being a woman is being able to have a family and properly take care of them. This is an incredibly harmful notion to women who are not able to have children or those that choose to not have any (Shaw & Lee 415). It causes them to feel lesser than in their bodies and their genders, which simply should not be true.
To look again at the "ideal" family, there is always a mother and a father, as the father is meant to provide for the family while the mother takes care of the children and home. However, this simply isn't the case all the time. There are plenty of single mothers that must take on the providing and the caretaking. This is a very painstaking task to endure that causes a lot of stress for mothers and their children (Shaw & Lee 415). The life of a single mother is not something that is always chosen, and I have the utmost respect for women who have triumphed day after day in succeeding with that lifestyle.
Looking at it from every angle, family is not just a simple concept anymore. There are so many different circumstances that lead to different types of families, large and small. Just as there is so much individuality in every person, there is uniqueness in every family. Putting forth this notion that family should be something standard and expected of everyone is impossible and could be potentially harmful and stressful to those that cannot or choose not to.
“Reasons Why You Should Celebrate Your Family!” Times of India Blog, 26 Mar. 2018, https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/life-n-style/reasons-why-you-should-celebrate-your-family/.
Shaw, Susan M., and Janet Lee. Gendered Voices, Feminist Visions: Classic and Contemporary Readings. Oxford University Press, 2020.
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