Motherhood: Yay or Nay?

    Motherhood: Yay or Nay?

        Despite the title of this post, I wanted to make one thing clear, there is no right answer. In fact, that is the very purpose of this post. Women are allowed to want whatever they want out of their lives without fear of disapproval. As a child, I remember being obsessed with baby toys, playing house, etc., as many young girls are pushed to enjoy. It’s interesting to assess the degree to which society pushes motherhood onto young girls from such ages and completely disregards it for boys. This only reinforces the idea that women should aspire for motherhood as it seems to be their main purpose in life, based on social stereotypes. This also creates a disparity in an adult woman’s life when their “reproductive years” are at their peak. I have found myself reflecting multiple times throughout my life on this idea of motherhood and wondering to myself “would you actually enjoy dedicating a huge part of your life to having children or is that what society has told you, you should want?” Now this question is in no way set out to negatively imply that women who do want children are being manipulated into doing so. Instead, it’s an objective question that would make your wants and needs clearer to you despite social pressure. 

 

            Additionally, it all can boil down to our right to make our own decisions on our bodies and our lifestyles. Social media often goes back and forth between shaming women who enjoy having kids and shaming those who do not want kids, there is no winning side. From young ages, girls are told what they should want, expect out of life, or what their end goal should be; the reality is that no matter the social implications, wanting motherhood does not make you complicit, and not wanting motherhood does not make you less of a woman or unfulfilled. The feminist goal on the discussion of motherhood should surround openness and freedom to choose what works best for you. 

 

            The debate on feminism and motherhood has been a long one but should ultimately be subjective to the woman and her desires in life. There is no one-size-fits-all guideline to these types of decisions but there should be no shame in whichever a woman chooses for her life. Even in my personal experiences, I have gone back and forth with these questions for years and have received negative feedback whenever discussing it. Many times, I would hear, “you don’t want kids now but you will” or “you want to be alone forever?” which goes to show that people tend to assess having kids with attaining some sort of biological property that cannot leave your side which is wholeheartedly incorrect.  Finally, if motherhood is in your plans reflect on whether you do it for the right reasons and under no pressure from society. If you choose otherwise, do not let anyone try to convince you you’re incapable of your own decisions.