Eating Disorders...A young Girls Story... My story!

Eating Disorders are a huge part in our society today. I was 17 years old when I decided to stop eating as much and exercise like crazy. I had just got into remission from cancer ( Hodgkins-Lymphoma). My boyfriend dumped me right after I went into remission. He had started dating me after I went into remission the first time my juniro year in highschool when I was 16years old. He was sweet, kind, and gentle. We had an amazing few months together as normal kids before I relapsed. It must of been very hard for him. He saw his cute girlfriend go from normal to bald, pale, and sick. He stayed with me the whole time I was sick. He motivated me to get better and stay alive! I still believe to this day that he did care about me a great deal, but he did his part and it was his time to move on with is life. I became very depressed. Eventhough, I had won the battle over my life I felt so empty without him. It is sad to admit this, but I just stopped eating. If i did eat I would consume veggies and fruits. I rarely ate meat or anything with fat in it. I would wake up every morning before school and go to the gym for about two hours. I eventually dropped down to 89lbs. I would look in the mirror and only see fat and just plain old ugly! I would point out all of my imperfections to myself. I rarely ate infront of friends and family. I did not want to be judged or told to eat more. My family became incresingly concerned! My sister would tell me " Christine, you look like you just walked out of the Holocaust!"I never listened to them. My mother would try to get me to eat a burger or take me out to get some chinnese food. However, I always came up with an excuse. I would also take stool softners so I could loose as much fat and calories as possible. I was really only skin and bones. As time went by I began a relationship with Christ. The more I learned about him the more I was intrigued. I would meet new people and travel to many places to learn and grow in my faith. I remember to this day being in my house just watching some Tv and a something came to my mind. I felt so convicted to eat a bowl of white rice. Just so you all know RICE is a Big Deal!!! For me to eat rice was to say that I wanted to consume calories that I knew would put some wheight on my little frame. I ate the whole bowl. I also felt convicted to throw away my stool softners. This was also a BIG DEAL!! Thankfully after about 8 months of being Anorexic I decided to change my life around. I am now 24 and a healthy 120lbs for my 5'2 stature. I sometimes look myslef in the mirror and point out my arms, back, stomach...ext... But then I rememeber that I am a cancer survivor! I remember how much I fought to be healthy and still fight to this day! I remember that I must be a role model to young girls fighting with Anorexia, bulimia, and cancer. I must be happy that I was given a second chance and to always appreciate what had been given to me. I tell myself everyday : " Christine, don't waste your life." I try and live my this mantra everyday! I want to encourage all of you that before you point out your flaws you remember one thing! You are healthy, you are beautiful, you are ALIVE!!
Love you all!!

Christine Marie <3