'Pick'ing Up That Guitar Again

When trying to think up a response to this week's readings I was kind of taken aback by how little I had to say about myself in relationship to movies, music and other media. Thinking back I can't really remember any specific obsession with an actor or actress. I even remember writing in my diary, circa age 12, that I "wasn't that into music" while I watched my girlfriends listen to their favorite pop singers over and over in their Walkman CD players - oh so 90s :) Growing up in a home with parents who could care less about pop culture and would rather take an exhilarating bike ride than sit in front of the T.V. I still am kind of 'out of it' when it comes to the latest celebrity gossip or the newest music.

But thinking harder I remember fifth grade and performing as Baby Spice in the Spice Girl's tribute (a.k.a. avid lip syncing and choreographing in my friend's back yard). I remember my first Walkman and listening to Sugar Ray's self-titled album over and over again and thinking about what my first boyfriend would be like. I remember wanting to have that certain something that Gwen Stefani had (and still has in my opinion) as I danced around my room to "Ex-Girlfriend" (the Return of Saturn CD is still on my iPod). My freshman year of college a good friend introduced me to Regina Spektor and I was enchanted by this woman who sang about wilting flowers and stepping in somebody's big fat loogie and left her heart out there like no male singer I had ever listened to had. Though I've never considered myself obsessed with purchasing new music on iTunes or attending every concert (I think that's more of a personality trait, I don't like to spend too much money), music has always lifted me outside of my head and yet deeper into my soul at the same time. As Susan Driver writes in Queer Girls and Popular Culture musical subcultures - something I define is the formulation of a distinct taste that you connect wholly with - provides "queer girls [as well as straight girls] with a sense of belonging to something bigger" (Driver 216).

Perhaps the reading I most connected with from the past weeks was Wald's "Just a Girl? Rock Music, Feminism, and the Cultural Construction of Female Youth." As Wald described Gwen Stefani's vigorous performance of "I'm Just a Girl," one performance leaving her with a broken foot from dancing so hard, I was pulled back to my first concert experience with my best friend Karen (Wald 585). I was in ninth grade and it was the Boston stop in No Doubt's "Hella Good" tour. I was in wonder of the platinum blond on stage. I wanted to yell like she did. I wanted to have the confidence to run around stage in front of thousands of people. I started to notice that day how girls had to literally search out girls in rock and alternative music. I was tired of the bombshell female pop singer looking for true love through catchy back beats. That wasn't real for me at that point. Sometimes I was angry, sometimes so preoccupied with just trying to find myself that bubblegum lyrics about love weren't really what I needed. Stefani showed me that I wasn't the only one. At that concert I realized in my own way how, as Wald writes, "female artists have ventured to celebrate girlhood as a means of fostering female youth subculture and of constructing narratives that disrupt patriarchal discourse within traditionally male rock subcultures" (Wald 588).

I wish that attitude stuck with me. I took guitar lessons back then with a Stoneham, Mass. resident named Bill. Bill was a musician, a great guitarist. But he didn't know how to teach teenage girls. He compared me to his male students who seemed to be excelling at a much more rapid pace than I was. Bill wanted me to provide music that I was interested in that we could play to. The fact was that I was scared that I would be criticized for the music I brought in. Like so many male friends I've had that discredit 'chick' rock simply because a woman is singing I felt the full press of a patriarchal society that defines true rock music.

I was impressed by the Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls Web site for helping girls disengage from that pressure. By "eradicat[ing] all the limiting myths about music and gender that make girls afraid to speak up, sing out, and make noise" and "abolish[ing] all the obsolete traditions that restrict many girls' and women's free musical expression and obstruct their access to the world of music" the camps are providing an avenue for girls to find themselves in media rather than rely on whatever corporate whim that defines media at the time and then searching for themselves in the prescribed mold. As Sara Schelde writes, so precisely, in her essay "What Truthiness Taught Me About Being (Un)Cool" girls, and anyone for that matter, "who are afraid to do anything that's not preapproved by MTV or the 'cool' kids are so frequently those who lack imagination" (Goldwasser 213). We want our girls to have imagination, the freedom to explore the self in whatever medium. Initiatives like Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls is are environments that foster such growth.

I think I'm going to retrace my steps a little today and pick that guitar up :)

Comments

It's strange that I realize that it bothers me when many male artists try to be as Regina Spektor who I like (but sometimes I don't) or Fiona Apple. However, I thought it interesting that some statistic we read pointed out how girls are more in tune with lyrics and boys are more interested in the music. In my experience, I have found this to be mostly true except for male lead singers. I need a good melody and then perhaps, I care a little less about what they say; so I like the music and the lyrics. However, it is also interesting how the readings allude to the fact that large majority groups and large minority groups are given attention. Anything else in between is less important. However, I think as the latter categories grow, so will the need to address them. In the meantime, it sucks (for a lack of a better word).
morgannegelinas said…
Regina Specktor is awesome. The Consequence of Sounds is one of my favorite songs. Good luck with the guitar!
Jen said…
Misty, I tend to connect to lyrics more than music. My boyfriend is always in awe of how I know all the lyrics to obscure 80s songs. That's most likely because girls are brought up oriented more toward verbal and non-verbal communication (e.g. English is a 'girly' subject) than boys are.

As far as the readings addressing the representation of only large groups, that's the case with anything mainstream because the mainstream represents the perceived majority. I say perceived because, as you said, times are a'changin' and minority groups are growing and garnering more attention. For now, though, subcultures exist where the minority can celebrate their culture through music, dress and other forms of expression. I feel that something might be lost if these subcultures become mainstream.

Oh, and YAY! for Regina Spektor fans :)

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