No two girls' experiences are the same!

Honestly, I couldn’t really relate to many of the stories that we read this week. As a child I was, and still am, very lucky. In school I was always a teacher’s pet. I loved learning and being in the classroom and I loved my teachers. I liked waking up and going to school every morning. I was really self-motivated in middle and high school so if I ever felt bored in the classroom I found other projects to get involved in and had teachers, even the principles, to back me. I do wish that braincake.org had been around when I was younger though. Math was definitely a subject I found myself struggling in, and now I see it wasn’t coincidental that most of my math teachers were male.

Maybe it’s because I am from a small town that I was able to have such positive relationships/experiences relating to school. We had cliques, but I was sort of a mingler between them. There weren’t really any two groups who didn’t like each other. When I wasn’t in school I was at my dance studio or doing things with my church or youth group. Growing up I had a great support system of family and friends and I almost always felt confident with my personality and being in my own skin. Of course I wanted to wear the clothes all my friends were wearing, and look pretty so boys would like me, but I don’t think any of those attempts to “fit in” negatively impacted me now. In fact, I think it makes me stronger now, knowing that as long as I’m ok with me I don’t care what anyone else thinks.

I wonder what the numbers would be for the girls in the story who had older sisters. I think this might be another contributing factor to why I didn’t really have that many negative experiences. I had an older sister who was very independent and she was a really good role model. We bickered just like sisters do, but we were also very close. I think if some of the girls had had an older sister maybe they wouldn’t have felt as lost. My sister would always stand up for me and be there for me. It might sound weird, but because of her I always felt like I had a “place”, and wherever it was that was ok with me.

Of course just because I had a good experience with school that doesn’t mean I don’t know that there are many girls who struggle with problems I never had to deal with. My heart went out to the girls in stories about moving so many times. I went to school with the same people all my life and I’ve known my best friend since 2nd grade. I can’t imagine what it’s like moving to a new school and not knowing anyone. I did find the prom article really interesting. I had never really thought about how glorified prom is and the way it sets up gender and cultural expectations for girls. I remember when I first came to college and I met people who hadn’t gone to their prom I couldn’t believe it. “How could you NOT GO TO PROM!?!?” Now that I can’t really remember prom I realize it really wasn’t as big of a deal as it seemed.

Although a lot of my experience didn’t seem to directly relate to the readings, I think this just goes to show that we could read 100 stories but there would still be experiences left untold. This is one of the reasons why we have girls studies in the first place. Now all of us are telling our stories. :)

Comments

♥ Tara said…
You are so right when you say that no two girl's experiences are the same. It's funny that you mention sisters though! I actually am the older sister, and my little sis definitely had a far worse adolescent experience that I did. She fought with my parents more, she didn't do well in school, she got in with a bad crowd...and a lot of other things that I couldn't even imagine dealing with. We definitely drifted apart during those years, but we are recently starting to reconnect. She went through things that I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy, and because of that I can see in her a strength that I don't have. Strength that I wish I had. So in a way, her rough teenage years might have actually helped her become a better adult.

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