Give Them What They Need!

This week I felt especially drawn to the writing in Red by Dani Cox. Dani knew she was "extraordinary" from the time she was young and she made it her mission to let all the girls in the world know that they are too. I like how even though Dani realizes that there are so many bad things happening in our world today, she is certain that if we could only find the "extra in each of our ordinary lives" that we could certainly change the world. Dani says that "ordinary girls have the power to be truly extraordinary" (231), and I couldn't agree more. Ordinary girls do have the power! The power to stand up for themselves and to tell the world how it's going to be. That's why it is so important to listen to girl's voices, because they are the only ones who can really tell us what they want and need. To me, probably the greatest thing Dani said in her essay was "I understand that some girl's aren't allowed a voice, so I speak for them" (323). Realizing that there are girls out there that cannot stand up or speak for themselves is also an important step in changing the world, and I really like that Dani understands this even though there are so many adults who do not. I think Dani is rare in the fact that, at age 13, she isn’t stuck in her own little world worried only about her own problems. She is aware of the fact that girls all over the world are experiencing things that none of us could even imagine and she is willing to speak out for them! I really admire the way Dani sees that anyone can make a difference, and making a difference can start with turning a roomful of nasty glares into giggles and laughter with a simple smile.

In the section in Queer Girls, Driver talks about online communities and how important they can be for girls, especially queer girls. She says that these communities can re-invent family and community ties that are often absent in their situations (176). Being that I am straight, I can’t even imagine not having the support of my family when making decisions about love. I love and respect the opinions of my family very much, so when I was younger, it was important to me that my family liked the people I dated. My mom and I were close enough that she could be honest with me about how she felt about certain boyfriends and while at times I disagree with her, it would usually come out in the end that she had been right about them not being right for me. I was lucky to have someone who understood me, to talk to about these matters. Unfortunately MANY queer girls just don’t have that option. Even if they are blessed with understanding parents and friends, that doesn’t mean that they would understand anything about what a queer girl might be going through, and that is where these online communities come into play. Some girls have described the communities as “a second family” (176) with whom they can share feelings that they wouldn’t necessarily be able to share with their real family. This is also great way that self esteem can be rebuilt for queer girls. Another important aspect of some of these communities is that many are specifically for teens. Some girls may feel that they would be “eaten alive by the adults for saying the wrong thing” (176). Teen girls understand their sexuality very differently than adult women, so having a place specifically for them to ask questions and not feel stupid is important in their entire process of “presenting themselves as queer” (172). Again, I think that listening to what girls have to say is so important because only then can we as a society give them what they need, and not just what we think they need.