Fat bottomed girls...
The first time I clearly remember feeling negatively about my body was when I had to be only nine or ten years old. My family was on vacation and I was watching TV with my brother on one of the rare occasions it was rainy all day. I was wearing my bathing suit inside (I sort of refused to take it off, in case the sun came out and I could run outside). I remember my older sister walking by and making a disgusted face, and then telling me to sit up because she could see all my rolls when I slouched like that. It was probably the first time I consciously considered myself fat. I wasn’t an overweight child by any means, but I definitely wasn’t the skinniest of the bunch, and from there my self-esteem spiraled downward.
The next year at school was when I got my period. I was only ten and though the fifth graders were supposed to be taught about periods, mine had come before that particular time of the year, and I was totally terrified. My parents didn’t think that they’d have to worry that early- my sister hadn’t gotten hers until she was fourteen. I remember when the nurse at school finally calmed me down and helped me learn how to use a pad, I still tried to explain everything that was happening to her because I was sure something was wrong with me and it wasn’t happening right in my body, for whatever reason. My parents found out, obviously, and my mom wanted to take me to dinner to celebrate- my dad said no, though, because Matt (my older brother) would feel left out. I remember hearing them fight about it, Mom asking Dad if he wanted to celebrate “his [Matt’s] first wet dream or something?” which now I have to laugh at.
I hated being an early bloomer. I had boobs and awkward curves before most girls even cared about boys in any significant way (finding a strapless bra for the eighth grade formal was a humiliating nightmare). On this note, I totally related with Emily Kaplan’s ode to her breasts. (I love them now, but not at thirteen- I was a 34DD.) I became an emotional eater and developed a pretty bad case of acne. It was overall a terribly awkward time for me, from about eleven to fifteen. It was still a little awkward after that, but I was relieved when I started growing into my body a little. The self-esteem problems were crippling and I developed some form of social anxiety that I still feel the effects of. I remember feeling totally ill-at-ease in my body and therefore, everywhere I went. I didn’t look anything like I thought I should.
I feel like girls are educated well enough in the science of their bodies (in most cases- not even going to start on abstinence-only education), but it would be ideal if the curriculum was a lot more empowering. If they made sure to teach young girls that there is no “template” for how they should look or act or be, less and less girls would suffer from body image problems. In my case, the problems weren’t too serious- I grew out of them as I grew into my body and grew more comfortable with it, but so many girls don’t. I definitely think that of girls get a lot of their body-education from the media, as evidenced by the “Do Thin Models…” and “Body Image” articles. And it’s not just in the sexed up culture of fashion and advertising. “Rumble, Cash, and Nashville […] found that the schematic association of attractiveness and thinness with goodness was present in over 100 female characters appearing in 23 Walt Disney animated films...” (“Body Image and Gender Identity”). It’s everywhere, and I think that someone needs to start taking responsibility. Unfortunately, it’s probably not going to be the media, so I really think its up to the schools and the parents to work to discourage the ideas that girls will get from the media about what makes a girl a girl and what is an “acceptable” “healthy” or “sexy” body type. My heart breaks for some of the girls we read about, like Amy, the author of sleeves. I’m glad she has an online community but girls shouldn’t be pushed into the corner like that. They need encouraging and healthy places to be themselves. How this should be developed, I’m not entirely sure yet- but it’s one of the reasons I’m a Women’s Studies major.
The next year at school was when I got my period. I was only ten and though the fifth graders were supposed to be taught about periods, mine had come before that particular time of the year, and I was totally terrified. My parents didn’t think that they’d have to worry that early- my sister hadn’t gotten hers until she was fourteen. I remember when the nurse at school finally calmed me down and helped me learn how to use a pad, I still tried to explain everything that was happening to her because I was sure something was wrong with me and it wasn’t happening right in my body, for whatever reason. My parents found out, obviously, and my mom wanted to take me to dinner to celebrate- my dad said no, though, because Matt (my older brother) would feel left out. I remember hearing them fight about it, Mom asking Dad if he wanted to celebrate “his [Matt’s] first wet dream or something?” which now I have to laugh at.
I hated being an early bloomer. I had boobs and awkward curves before most girls even cared about boys in any significant way (finding a strapless bra for the eighth grade formal was a humiliating nightmare). On this note, I totally related with Emily Kaplan’s ode to her breasts. (I love them now, but not at thirteen- I was a 34DD.) I became an emotional eater and developed a pretty bad case of acne. It was overall a terribly awkward time for me, from about eleven to fifteen. It was still a little awkward after that, but I was relieved when I started growing into my body a little. The self-esteem problems were crippling and I developed some form of social anxiety that I still feel the effects of. I remember feeling totally ill-at-ease in my body and therefore, everywhere I went. I didn’t look anything like I thought I should.
I feel like girls are educated well enough in the science of their bodies (in most cases- not even going to start on abstinence-only education), but it would be ideal if the curriculum was a lot more empowering. If they made sure to teach young girls that there is no “template” for how they should look or act or be, less and less girls would suffer from body image problems. In my case, the problems weren’t too serious- I grew out of them as I grew into my body and grew more comfortable with it, but so many girls don’t. I definitely think that of girls get a lot of their body-education from the media, as evidenced by the “Do Thin Models…” and “Body Image” articles. And it’s not just in the sexed up culture of fashion and advertising. “Rumble, Cash, and Nashville […] found that the schematic association of attractiveness and thinness with goodness was present in over 100 female characters appearing in 23 Walt Disney animated films...” (“Body Image and Gender Identity”). It’s everywhere, and I think that someone needs to start taking responsibility. Unfortunately, it’s probably not going to be the media, so I really think its up to the schools and the parents to work to discourage the ideas that girls will get from the media about what makes a girl a girl and what is an “acceptable” “healthy” or “sexy” body type. My heart breaks for some of the girls we read about, like Amy, the author of sleeves. I’m glad she has an online community but girls shouldn’t be pushed into the corner like that. They need encouraging and healthy places to be themselves. How this should be developed, I’m not entirely sure yet- but it’s one of the reasons I’m a Women’s Studies major.
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