Be Pure to Yourself
Purity to me is being pure to yourself. In stating this I mean it’s being true to yourself and your beliefs. To me if you’re not a virgin. Does not mean you are not a “pure” being. I feel that once you lose your virginity people judge you and you are all of the sudden a “slut”; at least that’s how it was for me. I had a good group of five girlfriends in high school; we hung out every day and slept over each others houses every weekend. One summer night, I went with my friend to our guy friend John’s house. I was seeing his friend at the time. Somehow things happen and I ended up losing my virginity. My friend was disgusted in me, yet she sat downstairs making out with John and some girl Danielle, having a 3-some kiss fest?! She then told my other friend and so on, before I knew it they were ignoring me and spreading rumors. I texted my friend Andrea, asking why she was ignoring me and she replied, “I’m sorry I can’t associated myself with someone whose had sex, it’ll ruin my reputation.” WOW!!!! I was a junior in high school, was vunarble from having sex and now had no friends. I was not a slut and still am not today. I have been with the same guy for over two years now. It’s funny because now those girls ended up getting drunk and sleeping around all senior year. So much for waiting and having a super clean reputation?! I think your virginity is something special and you should not just throw it away, make sure you won’t regret it, but don’t sleep around.
I think it’s good for schools to talk about being “pure” yet talking about safe/responsible sex also. Teens are going to experiment and make dumb choices, but they need to have options. You can’t say “don’t have sex, be pure.” You have to instill the right morals or pureness into them. The classroom chastity chapter really sums it up. Pam Stenzel’s approach seems like a success, it ties in jokes and makes in interesting not just plainly stating facts and telling kids what to do. I think it’s crucial to inform teens about AIDS/HIV, diseases, pregnancy while talking about sex. It’s fun at the time, yet there are very serious consequences that can often be lifelong personally didn’t like the “ex repect”, stating if you eat bad food, you will get sick, these were examples shown warning studenst th consequences of premarital sex. It says, “if you have sex outside of marriage, there are consequences for you, your partner, and society." People are going to do what they want to do, you can’t tell someone not to have sex. I feel that sex is a beautiful thing, it is done responsibly with someone who you both truly love, trust and care about. It also depends on your morals and religion, but I don’t think it’s right to preach your beliefs on others. Especially at a critical age of wanting teens to become themselves.
Porno’s, really bother me. It is o degrading to women. In my masculinity studies class we talked about how; as soon as the men cums the sex is over even if the woman has not, how girls give blow jobs yet going down on a woman in porn is “gross” and rarely done, and the man is always in charge. I love having sex, but have never had crazy porn sex. It seems so staged and unreal; it’s all about the man with the 10 inch dick. Someone in my masculinity studies class also pointed out that erotica is more “real” porn. It’s softer and aimed toward both sexes. Porn degrades women and as more and more teens watch this, I feel they think it’s the way sex should be. On page 85 of Purity Myth, Robert Jensen wrote in his book, “Pornography as a mirror shows us how men see women. Not all mean, o course-but the ways in which many men accept the conventional conception of masculinity see women.” He also tells of how “gonzo” porn, where the sex workers acknowledge the cameras presence is the most disturbing. Teenage boys seeing these video and having easy access to it does not make it any easier for women and young teenage girls to be respected in ways that they deserve.
I was reading in the Purity Myth about the vaginal rejuvenation and this reminded e how women shave now. Men don’t shave their pubic hair, it’s all wild, yet women are expected to shave it all off. Someone in my sex & gender class this summer related it to a little girl, and that’s exactly what it looks like. Somehow this is attractive to men?! O the topic of vaginal rejuvenation, it states, “the fastest growing for of plastic surgery in the United States, and probably the best example of how women are expected to be girls-and not just girls, but virginal girls.” It’s referred to as a virginity fetish. Yet men like sleeping with girls, and get no reputation or sign of usage yet they want us to be fresh/tight and virginal all the time. On page 74, “the procedures real purpose is rarely for women’s please- it’s almost always done for either men’s physical please or aesthetic acceptance.” Lisseth Figueroa did it to save her marriage. I watched Dr. 90210 last year and a women was getting it done, as “her vagina was loose as she had a child”, her husband wanted to it be like before the child was born, yet they wanted to have more children in the future?!
I think it’s good for schools to talk about being “pure” yet talking about safe/responsible sex also. Teens are going to experiment and make dumb choices, but they need to have options. You can’t say “don’t have sex, be pure.” You have to instill the right morals or pureness into them. The classroom chastity chapter really sums it up. Pam Stenzel’s approach seems like a success, it ties in jokes and makes in interesting not just plainly stating facts and telling kids what to do. I think it’s crucial to inform teens about AIDS/HIV, diseases, pregnancy while talking about sex. It’s fun at the time, yet there are very serious consequences that can often be lifelong personally didn’t like the “ex repect”, stating if you eat bad food, you will get sick, these were examples shown warning studenst th consequences of premarital sex. It says, “if you have sex outside of marriage, there are consequences for you, your partner, and society." People are going to do what they want to do, you can’t tell someone not to have sex. I feel that sex is a beautiful thing, it is done responsibly with someone who you both truly love, trust and care about. It also depends on your morals and religion, but I don’t think it’s right to preach your beliefs on others. Especially at a critical age of wanting teens to become themselves.
Porno’s, really bother me. It is o degrading to women. In my masculinity studies class we talked about how; as soon as the men cums the sex is over even if the woman has not, how girls give blow jobs yet going down on a woman in porn is “gross” and rarely done, and the man is always in charge. I love having sex, but have never had crazy porn sex. It seems so staged and unreal; it’s all about the man with the 10 inch dick. Someone in my masculinity studies class also pointed out that erotica is more “real” porn. It’s softer and aimed toward both sexes. Porn degrades women and as more and more teens watch this, I feel they think it’s the way sex should be. On page 85 of Purity Myth, Robert Jensen wrote in his book, “Pornography as a mirror shows us how men see women. Not all mean, o course-but the ways in which many men accept the conventional conception of masculinity see women.” He also tells of how “gonzo” porn, where the sex workers acknowledge the cameras presence is the most disturbing. Teenage boys seeing these video and having easy access to it does not make it any easier for women and young teenage girls to be respected in ways that they deserve.
I was reading in the Purity Myth about the vaginal rejuvenation and this reminded e how women shave now. Men don’t shave their pubic hair, it’s all wild, yet women are expected to shave it all off. Someone in my sex & gender class this summer related it to a little girl, and that’s exactly what it looks like. Somehow this is attractive to men?! O the topic of vaginal rejuvenation, it states, “the fastest growing for of plastic surgery in the United States, and probably the best example of how women are expected to be girls-and not just girls, but virginal girls.” It’s referred to as a virginity fetish. Yet men like sleeping with girls, and get no reputation or sign of usage yet they want us to be fresh/tight and virginal all the time. On page 74, “the procedures real purpose is rarely for women’s please- it’s almost always done for either men’s physical please or aesthetic acceptance.” Lisseth Figueroa did it to save her marriage. I watched Dr. 90210 last year and a women was getting it done, as “her vagina was loose as she had a child”, her husband wanted to it be like before the child was born, yet they wanted to have more children in the future?!
Comments
I love your definition of purity! Purity means different things to all of us. Thanks for sharing your story, it is sad how we feel we have the right to judge others, and yet don't see the faults in our own lives. I am actually shocked that your friends reacted like that, because it is not abnormal for girls to have sex their junior year, actually many girls probably do younger. I agree that your virginity is special and you should not waste it on someone you will regret in the future. I could not agree more that teenagers will do dumb things and make the wrong decisions. Preaching to them about abstinence only will not prepare them. We need to be teaching them about safe sex and the emotionality of sex so that if they do decide to have sex they are as prepared as they can be. Porn is a huge problem in our society and things need to change as boys are getting addicted to it younger and younger. It is degrading to women, I was absolutely appalled by the "Bang Bus"!